Today I want to drop a truth bomb on you. It has the power to revolutionize your relationships, and specifically the relationship with one particular man.
Maybe you have a man right now who has gone non-responsive. He is leaving you on read. He has ghosted you. He has gone completely distant, out of sight and out of mind, and maybe he is seeing someone else.
How do you get him to come back? How do you breathe life back into something that looks dead, to the point where he wants to reconnect, wants you back in his life, and wants to treat you like a queen?
That is what this is. I call it the Appreciation Bomb, and it is one specific message you send him. I will give you the exact text, then the psychology underneath it, then your homework.
The Exact Message To Send
Here is what you send him:
I wanted to share with you a list I made for fun about all the things I do appreciate so much about you. Some that I don’t think I ever shared with you before and wanted to let you know about.
Then immediately after that message, you send a list of 10 things you appreciate most about him.
Ten things he has done, or ten things he has done for you, or ten things about who he is. They have to be authentic. Things you genuinely love, appreciate, and would acknowledge him for.
If your last interaction was rough, add a little context at the front. Something like: “I know things were hard the last time we spoke and you said you didn’t want to continue things. I just put this list together for fun and wanted to share it with you anyway.”
Write Them From The Emotional Side
This is where most women get it slightly wrong. Do not write a performance review. Share the emotional impact.
Here are examples of the right shape:
- “You always make me laugh. Every time I’m with you I can’t stop cracking up. You put a smile on my face and it makes me feel awesome.”
- “You’re such a great problem solver. Every time I have an issue with my car or my computer you’re great at sorting it out, and I really admire that about you.”
- “I love the adventures you take me on. You always have the most fun ideas, and I always feel safe with you and like there’s something new to explore.”
- “You’re so handsome, and honestly it’s hard for me to keep my hands off you when I’m around you.”
Notice the pattern. What he did, and then what it created in you.
The Psychology: Why This Activates Him
If you want to activate the hero instinct in a man, the most powerful way is through appreciation. It is letting him know how much he actually affects you, what he does that you love, and the positive emotion it creates in you.
Sharing this way automatically puts you in your feminine, because the feminine is receptivity, emotion, and expressing the impact of things around you.
Think of it as the knight in shining armor principle. A knight is looking for a princess to serve. Without her, he has no purpose. There is no point to the knight existing if there is no one to show up for.
For a man to be your hero, he has to know what he has already done that counted, so he can do more of it. You are handing him a mission he can actually win. Polarity increases. Attraction increases. He starts to see you as the woman worth dedicating himself to.
“But Won’t This Look Like I’m Chasing Him?”
No, and here is why. You are not asking him for anything.
You are not requesting a call. You are not asking where things stand. You are not asking him to come back. You are simply sharing, and then whatever happens happens.
You are opening a door. It is entirely up to him whether he walks through it. That is the opposite of chasing.
It is even more powerful when you include things you have never told him before, because that gives the message its own honest reason to exist.
“It Feels Too Soppy, Too Much, Too Emotional”
I am going to be loving with you here, and also a little firm. If that is your reaction, it tells me you are currently detached from your feminine energy.
Feminine energy does not worry about coming across as too soft. Feminine energy is emotion flowing through, and communicating what you actually feel, good or bad.
When it is negative, you share the impact without attacking: “when you did that, it made me feel hurt, like you didn’t care.” When it is positive: “when you did that, it made me feel special and safe, like you really care about me.”
That is all feminine communication is. Expressing the impact of his actions and the emotions they create in you, so he actually knows what is going on.
You Are Handing Him A Guidebook
There is a second thing this message does that most women never think about.
Men are not mind readers. He may genuinely not know which of his actions landed with you, because in the hard stretch of the relationship the conversation was all about what was going wrong. The things he did right got lost in the shuffle.
This message gives him a guidebook for how to win with you. That gives him confidence, and a man with confidence that he can make you happy is far more willing to try again.
Keep doing it after he comes back, too. This is not a one-time trick to reopen a door. It is how you keep the door open.
Send It, Then Let It Go
You must be genuinely okay with getting no response. If he does not reply, let it go. It is what it is.
Because this was never only about him. It is you practicing what it feels like to be a woman who appreciates a man, who appreciates the masculine, who creates heroes. That is a muscle, and this builds it.
You are also putting into words, to God and to the universe, what you actually want in a man.
Send it however the two of you normally communicate. Text, email, messenger, it does not matter. Use whichever channel you have used most.
Your Homework
Pick a man you have been out of contact with, someone you are still interested in and would be open to seeing again. Even if you are not open to it, this is still worth doing as practice.
Write the list. Send it today, ideally in the next 30 minutes, before the fear talks you out of it.
Then notice what it brought up in you. What fears you had to move through. What beliefs you had to set down. How it felt to be in your feminine and put that out there.
If you want help knowing what to work on after this, take our free quiz below.
Much love, and I look forward to talking with you again very soon.
