If you are tired of a man pulling away, being wishy-washy, and treating you like the dirt on the ground rather than the diamond you actually are, this is for you.
I am Brody Boyd with Magnetize Your Man. Together with my wife Antia, we have spent over 20 years combined helping thousands of successful women all over the world get loving, long-term, committed relationships with the men they want.
Here are the principles that make a man see you as his queen, the woman he would never want to lose.
1. Embrace Your Feminine Radiance
In the training I show two photographs of the same woman. Same face, same body, two completely different energies.
In one she is open, radiant, vulnerable, receptive. In the other she is closed. Energetically she is holding up a giant shield that blocks a masculine man from coming anywhere near her.
You can feel the difference instantly, and so can he.
Notice that this is about energetics, not appearance. Some women use makeup like a shield, unconsciously, precisely to avoid being vulnerable. The change is not on the outside.
A healthy masculine man picks the open woman every single time. Men will still sleep with the shielded version, but they marry and commit to the open one.
Ask yourself honestly which one you tend to be with a man. Are you in your radiance, or in your protective, blocked energy?
And to be clear about what this is: every woman already has a feminine core. We are not changing who you are and we are not teaching you to play games. We are teaching you to embrace the most authentic, vulnerable part of yourself, which is the part that compels a man to protect your heart and be your hero.
2. Do Not Be The Doormat, And Do Not Be The Controller
The Doormat gives a man everything she has to make him like her. She meets his needs, serves him, and makes him happy. She becomes his mother, his therapist, and his nurse.
Her deepest fear is that he might not like her. If he does not, her world crumbles, she is not good enough, and she will die alone. So she will do anything to avoid being disliked.
She is feminine in a way, an extreme form of it, but she has sacrificed herself. She has lost her own sense of value and stopped looking out for her own needs. Resentment builds anyway, and comes out sideways as passive aggression.
A man will not stay with her long term, because he stops valuing her, and when he stops valuing her the attraction goes with it.
So most women recoil and swing to the opposite pole, which I will call the Controller. She decides it is all about her now. She stops pleasing anyone. She looks out for herself, and she starts telling him what to do, leading him, making his decisions.
That repels a healthy masculine man just as reliably, because he does not want a masculine woman. The polarity evaporates and passion goes with it.
When she criticizes, blames, shames, and emasculates, he has only three options: submit and become a shell of a man, fight her constantly, or leave. Most eventually leave.
The Queen takes the best of both. She has the Controller’s self-respect and willingness to speak up. She has the Doormat’s softness, gentleness, and warmth. She shares her feelings, her desires, and her needs, and she does it in a way he can actually receive.
3. Give Him Unconditional Respect
Feminine energy wants to be adored and cherished. Masculine energy wants to be respected and trusted.
So if you want unconditional love from a man, you have to give unconditional respect and trust. That is what makes him feel he can be your man, help you, provide for you, and be your hero.
Test it over 90 days. Give him unconditional respect for that window and watch what happens to the relationship.
At minimum it reveals what you are dealing with: a healthy masculine man, or a man with deep trauma who is simply incapable of showing care and devotion. If it is the second, you need to get out of that situation, because you are high value and you should not stay somewhere you are uncared for.
And if you ever feel unsafe at any point, leave. That overrides everything else here.
4. Use The Big Apology
In most struggling relationships, bad blood has built up. Grievances, hurts, and resentments have been swept under the rug for years.
Eventually the rug gets so full you cannot walk into the room. You avoid him entirely, or it bursts out as an enormous argument, a breakup, or a slide into real toxicity. That is the downward spiral.
The Big Apology clears the rug. We teach the full process to our clients, and it takes about an hour of training to prepare properly, but here is the shape of it.
First, a self-audit, which is itself a feminine act because the feminine is self-aware and internally focused. Look honestly at every way you were disrespectful. Where you mothered him. Where you criticized, shamed, complained, or emasculated. Where you cost you both the polarity.
Then reach out and set up a phone call or, better, an in-person meeting. Share those things with him vulnerably and respectfully, so he feels your heart.
What that does is remarkable. He empathizes. He sees you have genuine awareness, which lets him trust that you will be different, precisely because you can now see it yourself. You have cleaned up your side of the street, and he gets to decide what he does with that.
Some men cry. Some hug you. Some need a few days to process. Some ignore it entirely. It depends on the man and on what has happened between you. But most shift.
This works even when he has already broken up with you. We help a lot of clients in exactly that position.
5. Give Him Missions To Accomplish
Masculine energy is about achievement. Completing the mission, making it happen, finding the treasure at the end of the tunnel. It is why men are drawn to sports, racing, and video games: a clear sense of winning and of being valuable.
You activate that instinct by giving him missions, and the easiest version is simply asking for help more often. Ask for his advice, his opinion, his suggestions, his decisions. Then let him give them to you.
How you ask decides everything. Compare these.
Disrespectful: “Did you remember to do that thing I mentioned last week?” “Why haven’t you finished the laundry room?” “Why haven’t you sent the job applications out, you’re just playing video games.”
Feminine: “Hey babe, I’m feeling scared right now, because I noticed the bills still haven’t been taken care of, and I don’t know what to do. Can I have some help with that?”
The first makes him feel he has to. The second makes him feel he gets to, and that it is a gift.
You can also just ask outright for what you want. Can I have a phone call? Can I have a hug? Could I please have a massage? Would it be okay if we spent some time together this weekend?
Be specific. The more specific the better, because a mission needs a clear target. “I need help” or “I’m overwhelmed” is better than nagging, but he still has to do detective work to find out what you actually want.
Then, when he completes it, shower him with appreciation, admiration, and respect. That feels so good to him that he wants to do it again, and again. Now you are in the upward spiral.
6. Be Willing To Walk Away
In any relationship, the person with the most power is the person most willing to walk away. It is true in business negotiations, in sales, and in romance.
Being genuinely willing to leave is one of the most powerful ways you hold your value as a woman. It means you will not stay in an abusive situation, and you will not stay where a man shows no care for your heart.
The caveat matters though. Before you conclude he will not change, make sure you have actually practiced these principles properly. Give yourself a real container: 30 days, 90 days, or up to 180 if you have a long history together. Use the tools consistently, and see how he behaves.
As long as he is not deeply broken, he will shift over that window. Often dramatically. And if he does not, you have your answer, and you leave knowing you gave it everything.
Where To Start
If you read all six and felt one of them land harder than the rest, start there. For most women it is either the radiance or the apology.
To find out which applies to your situation, take our free quiz below and you will get a recommendation built around where you actually are.
Much love, take care, and I look forward to talking with you again very soon.
