The short answer: To make him respect you, value yourself first. Set clear boundaries and hold them with warmth, care for your well-being, and own your feminine confidence without apology. Keep growing as a woman with her own purpose. Respect follows naturally when a man sees that you honor yourself and will not settle for less.
Discover how to make him respect you so that he VALUES you, puts you on a pedestal and wants to chase you, pursue you and make you HIS for life in this new article below!
1. It’s Better To Be FEARED Than To Be Liked
Key number five is it’s far better to be feared than to be liked. Whoa, that’s a bold statement. Well, I originally heard this statement from Niccolo Machiavelli, who was a political philosopher in Renaissance, Italy. He gave this statement to politicians and leaders regarding how they could be respected by their people. This statement applies to all human relationships as well, especially in dating. He said it’s far better to be feared than to be liked, but I would say that it’s far better to be respected than to be liked. But fear, and respect, they’re very similar. They’re brother and sister.
So, what does this mean? Well, it means that if you want a man’s respect, he should have some fear that he might, for example, lose you, than to say that he just likes you. When he just likes you he may say something like, “Oh, she’s so great,” “She’s always there when I need her, “She’s so available, she does everything I want.” “She’s so kind, she’s so nice.” Those types of statements show that there’s no respect there. That happens for all people. You lose respect for somebody when there’s nothing at stake. They know that they can get you to do whatever they want, and that’s the anti-respect. That’s when we get into the realm of the nice guy or the nice girl or the doormat. So to be feared is to be respected.
Some of the main ways you can do that, as I said before, is him knowing that he might lose you. That you’re willing to walk away, that you’re willing to date other men, that you’re willing to make yourself available, that maybe you’ll tell other people of his bad behavior. So maybe it’s the fear for his reputation. There are lots of ways you can do it, but that’s the main concept. Just owning the concept that it’s better to be respected than to be liked or loved. It’s far better to be respected, because, and this is what Nicola Machiavelli said, the reason why is because respect and fear are under your control. Being liked is under their control. You don’t have control over whether someone likes you or loves you, they can take that away at any moment. But you have control over whether they respect you, that’s dependent on your actions. They can’t help, but respect you, if you’re doing the right actions, or fear you if you’re doing the right actions or if they know you could do the right actions. So that’s why it’s so important, and that’s why it’s key to getting that respect.
2. Take Great Care Of & Value Yourself
Key, number four to be respected by him, is to take better care of and to value yourself. How can someone respect you if you don’t respect yourself first? How can someone value you if you don’t value yourself first? So the key here is to take care of yourself, but how do you do that? You do that several ways, even small ways. For example, some of the small ways would it be basic things like grooming when you need it, if you have cavities in your teeth, if you have some health challenges if you’re taking care of your nails, taking care of your hair, taking care of your body, all those different things where you are showing to yourself with your actions, “I value myself. “I’m making sure I feel good about myself.” Dressing nicely, keeping your clothes cleaned, if there are rips, you’re either not wearing that piece of clothing or getting it fixed. It’s little things like that, it shows that level of care for yourself, which other people pick up on. So you have to focus on that first. It starts with you, your health, your mindset, your mental health, your emotional health, your hygiene, your well-being, your appearance, all those little ways.
The bigger ways to take care of yourself would be doing things we’ve mentioned here before; having high standards, setting boundaries, valuing your time. Are people able to just take your time whenever they want? Take your energy whenever they want? You have to take care of that. You have to value that first and make sure you’re doing things for you, not just other people. You’re doing things that you value, that you love, that are filling you up, filling up that cup first, before you fill up everyone else’s. Just like on an airplane, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you put other people’s masks on. That’s going to help increase respect immensely with other people because they’re going to see you respecting yourself clearly, through your actions and behavior. If you’d like to learn more about this I’d highly recommend taking our free quiz to get your custom gifts & support now using the special button below!
3. Own Your Femininity With Pride
Key number three, to get a man’s respect and to get people’s respect in general is to take pride in your femininity. What I’ve noticed working with men and working with women for a while is that often, we repress different parts of ourselves. We say, “Oh, that’s silly. “Oh, that other woman she’s so girly. We judge other people and you may judge other women for being a doormat or a nice girl but that’s called projection in psychology. That’s when somebody holds a mirror up to us and we don’t see what we see in them in ourselves.
Femininity can be one of those things. We’ll see other women and we’ll say, “Oh, she’s so silly. “Oh, she’s girly or she’s weak. “Or she’s letting people walk over her.” But then what happens if you repress that feminine part inside of yourself, you’re disrespecting that part of yourself. You’re saying, “I don’t do that,” “I don’t own that part,” and men can pick up on that as well. So it’s about owning your femininity, having feminine pride in yourself and that girly part of you, that womanly part of you that’s different from a man. Actually loving that part and loving all parts of you, embracing all parts of you. Also if you’re masculine, embracing all those parts of you and saying, “I value those parts,” “I bring love to those parts.”
Men are going to feel that and men are going to feel that you’re confident, they’re going to feel that you’re valuable, and also because feminine energy is what attracts the masculine when you’re loving that feminine part of yourself when you’re able to embrace it with pride, there’s no shame. There’s no, this false front that some women will put on that they’re trying to be strong, they’re trying to be intimidating, they’re trying to be masculine because they don’t have that feminine part, men can feel it and it shows insecurity. Men can pick up on that insecurity and they’ll say, “Wow, she’s not fully loving herself. “She’s not embracing all herself.” So of course, he’s thinking this as emotion and on a subconscious level but those are the kind of feeling that he’ll get. So, embrace all parts of yourself, especially the feminine parts that are different than a man, with pride. Even your sexuality, your womanhood, however, you want to put on it. Whatever word you want to put on it. Embrace that with pride, because that’s going to help a man feel like “Wow, she’s feminine and confident, that’s attractive.” If you’d like to learn more about this I’d highly recommend taking our free quiz to get your custom gifts & support now using the special button below!
4. Study Self Improvement
Key number two, to having a man respect you is to study self-improvement. Now a quick story, in my first relationship, I kinda stumbled into it. I used to be what you might call an emotionally unavailable man. So when I was in college, I got into my first relationship by accident. Even though I had been working a long time to get better with meeting women which is why I struggled in my dating before and I studied it and I became a dating coach for men. But when I stumbled into my first relationship, things were okay. And I think we were drawn to each other just from a, I had these protector instincts, I wanted to protect her but it was also partly so I didn’t have to be vulnerable. So I could be the one in control and I could keep her at a distance, which was my avoidant part. However, one thing that was a big sticking point for us in our relationship that caused me to lose respect was that she wasn’t studying, she wasn’t growing herself. She wasn’t working on herself and she had lots of issues as did I, but I didn’t feel that sense of growth, that sense of development. And so I started to lose respect in some ways, and that caused me to be even more distant, even more, avoidant in the relationship. Communicating even less and things like that. It wasn’t good for either of us. It wasn’t healthy, but one of the big pieces was the self-improvement piece.
I think that’s a key to having a man respect you, especially if he’s more avoidant, is to see that you are taking care of yourself in the sense of you’re growing, you’re improving, you’re working towards another, a better version of you. You’re not just accepting the status quo. That commands respect because that shows, “Whoa, she’s growing a lot.” “And if I’m growing, if I’m not keeping up “with that, I might start falling behind.” And it’s admirable when you’re growing as well. Take that one as an identity, you’re a woman who is growing, who’s improving. I mean, you’re doing it right now by reading this article. So keeping on that trajectory, getting coaching around it, joining a program, whatever it might be, maybe take a class. When you grow, you are improving your value, period. You’re improving your value as a human, as a woman, and that commands respect. Again, a lot of respect you’re seeing a theme here is based on value. What’s your value of yourself and what’s your actual value in the world which you cultivate by cultivating yourself. So, this is a super important key and something that I don’t think a lot of people talk about. So, study self-improvement.
5. Be The QUEEN – Not The Doormat Or The Bitch
And finally, key number one, which is a lot of what I and my wife Antia talk about in our “Magnetize Your Man” program, is what we call being the queen. Be the queen, not the doormat or the bitch. Put that crown right on top of your head. Now, what is the queen? And how is it different than the doormat or the bitch?
So basically if you imagine a spectrum, and we talk about this in our book “Magnetize Your Man” which is available on Amazon, but imagine a spectrum. On one side, you have a doormat, which is a woman or a man who gives up their value, does what everyone else wants, doesn’t set any boundaries, is overly submissive, overly anxious usually, and insecure. And then you have, on the other side, the bitch. Which is more of an I don’t care, you can go F yourself, I’m going to do my thing kind of attitude, really good at setting boundaries. Maybe they become a bit more aggressive, disrespects other people, walk over other people, crosses boundaries herself. So pretty much the opposite of the doormat entirely. Well then in the middle, you have the golden mean, which is the queen. The queen is a perfect balance of the doormat and the bitch.
So imagine that you have within yourself this ability to be bitch-setting boundaries, saying no, doing what you want to do, taking care of yourself, looking out for yourself first, but then you also have this ability to be warm, soft, understanding, caring and approachable. What brings those two together is the queen. The queen has both. She can be a bitch when she needs to be over here, she can be the doormat when she needs to be as well, in the right moments. But in general, she’s right there in the middle of the balance. That commands respect with a man because it shows you have both, you can be caring, and that warmth draws him in. So you have that respect. He says “Wow, this is a woman of value, high-value woman. I can see her in my life. I can see having a partnership with her, I would respect her, I would admire her, I would want to be a better man because of her.” That will draw a man in, that nurturing, that mother energy almost of the doormat. It is amazing for a man to feel that from a woman. So, that will increase your respect and have him want to be with you and want to treat you like a queen. Even if he never has before.
How To Make Him Respect You Conclusion
If you’d like to get more support with this to help you to get him to respect you even more and get him to CHASE You as well to attract an incredible relationship I’d highly recommend taking our FREE quiz to get your custom gifts and support now by using the special button below!
What Makes A Man Respect A Woman
If you strip away every technique, respect comes down to one thing. A man respects a woman who is not willing to abandon herself to keep him.
That is the whole principle. Everything else is detail.
He is not measuring your looks, your cooking, how agreeable you are, or how much you do for him. Those things can earn appreciation, and appreciation is a completely different currency. Respect is earned by watching what you do when staying in your own corner costs you something.
Here is what he is actually reading, usually without knowing he is reading it.
Does what she says match what she does? This is the largest single input. A woman whose words and behavior agree becomes someone he can trust, and trust is the ground respect grows in. A woman who says one thing and does another teaches him to ignore her words, and once he ignores her words there is nothing left to respect.
Does she keep her promises to herself? Not to him. To herself. The gym she said she would go back to, the friend she said she would stop letting walk over her, the standard she said she would hold. He notices, and it tells him whether her self respect is real or decorative.
Can she be displeased without falling apart or exploding? Most people have exactly two settings when something is wrong, silence or blowup. A woman with a third setting, saying the true thing once and calmly, is rare, and it commands respect almost immediately.
Does she need his approval to be okay? When a woman’s mood is entirely governed by how warm he was that day, he can feel the weight of it. He may enjoy the power, but he will not respect it, because nothing that is fully in his control ever feels valuable.
How To Get Your Husband To Respect You
If you are married, this is harder, and I want to acknowledge that honestly rather than pretend the advice is identical.
In a long marriage, patterns have had years to set. You have both trained each other, and a lot of what looks like disrespect is really just a groove worn so deep neither of you notices you are in it. He may genuinely not know that anything is wrong.
Three things change this, in order.
Stop the running commentary and pick one thing. When a woman has been unheard for years, everything tends to come out at once, and he hears it as a general complaint about his character rather than a specific request. He defends, nothing changes, and you both file it under another fight. Choose the single pattern that matters most and speak only about that one.
Say it as a decision, not a request. There is an enormous difference between “I wish you would stop talking to me that way” and “I am not going to continue conversations where I am spoken to that way, so I will step out and we can pick it up later.” The first hands him the choice. The second keeps it where it belongs, with you, and requires nothing from him but a response.
Then hold it, quietly, about four times. The first time he will likely test it. The second time he will notice. By the third or fourth, the groove starts to move. This is slow and unglamorous and it is what actually works, and it works far more often than women expect after years of feeling stuck.
How To Make A Man Feel Respected
Respect runs both directions, and this half gets left out of most advice written for women, which is a mistake. A man who feels respected becomes dramatically easier to reach.
Most men have a particular sensitivity here. Being treated as incapable lands harder for him than almost anything else, and it lands hardest when it comes from the woman he loves.
A few things that make a man feel respected, in rough order of impact.
Let him do it his way. When he takes something on, let it be his. If you supervise the method, correct the details, or step in and finish it, the message is that he is not trusted to handle it. His way being different from yours is not his way being wrong.
Ask instead of assigning. The same words delivered as a request rather than an instruction change the entire exchange. It costs nothing and it changes how he receives it completely.
Be specific when you appreciate him. “Thank you for handling that, I did not have to think about it once” is worth more than a general compliment, because it proves you actually noticed. Men are chronically under noticed and it registers deeply.
Do not criticize him in front of other people. Not as a joke, not affectionately. Whatever is true between you privately, in public you are on his side. This one rebuilds more goodwill than almost anything else on the list.
The Part Where These Two Things Meet
Here is why I put these together rather than in separate articles.
Respect and standards are not opposites, and women are often taught that they are. You do not have to choose between being warm to him and being firm with yourself.
The most powerful combination, and the one that changes marriages, is a woman who treats a man with genuine respect and will not tolerate being treated poorly. Warm and immovable at the same time. He experiences it as being deeply valued by someone whose good opinion actually means something, because it can be lost.
Warmth without a limit becomes something he stops noticing. A limit without warmth becomes a war. Together they are the thing almost every man says he wants and very few ever find.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you make him respect you?
You make him respect you by respecting yourself first. Hold your boundaries kindly but firmly, follow through on your standards, and refuse to shrink to keep the peace. Stay warm rather than harsh. When a man sees that you value your own worth, he begins to mirror that respect back to you.
How do you make a man respect you if he never has before?
Begin by quietly changing how you treat yourself. Stop over-explaining, over-giving, and accepting less than you deserve. Set one clear boundary and hold it with calm consistency. As you honor your own worth, he feels the shift. Real respect is often rebuilt through steady action, not through a single conversation.
What makes a man lose respect for a woman?
A man often loses respect when a woman abandons her own boundaries, chases his approval, or tolerates poor treatment to avoid conflict. Constant people-pleasing signals that she does not value herself. Respect returns when she reconnects with her worth, holds her standards, and stops making him the center of her whole world.
Can you make him respect you without losing his love?
Yes, respect and love grow together when you lead with warmth. You do not need to be cold or harsh to be respected. Hold your boundaries with a soft, secure heart and stay kind. A man respects a woman who values herself, and he loves feeling her warmth alongside that strength.
How do boundaries help a man respect you?
Boundaries show a man what you will and will not accept, and they prove you honor your own worth. When you hold a boundary calmly instead of threatening or pleading, he learns your word means something. This steady self-respect invites him to treat you with the same care you give yourself.
