Wondering how to make him think about you all the time? In this guide, we share 5 pieces of advice to help you stay in his mind.
So, what this means is when you're with a man, whether it's just a date, you're hanging out, you've been together for a while, or you're newly dating, I highly recommend sharing and being vulnerable with your desires. So often, we think that our desires are just our own, that they’re unique to us. There's an old saying that the more private something is, the more public something is, meaning the things that we think are special and vulnerable about us; most of the population likely has some form of that desire or fear or insecurity too.
So when you share those vulnerabilities and those things you think are unique, you'll often be surprised to find that the man you share this with will have similar desires and will have similar longings. This can be one of the most incredible things to bond you together to see; wow, we both have this shared vision. We both want to travel the world, have a family, somebody to share a life with and watch movies together and go out to eat together and support each other when we're not feeling well, those kinds of things. So share what it is for you, those deepest longings and desires.
There's also a feminine principle here: when you share your longings, that will activate the male heroic instinct to want to help fulfill your longings. A man can't fulfill your longings if he's not aware of them. So by sharing those, he starts to think, “wow, how can I help her have that?” So there is a very powerful masculine-feminine polarity principle within there as well.
For example, when I was dating my wife Antia; in the beginning, she would share with me her dreams and desires of sharing her message with the world. She had been leading soulmate support groups with single women, and I'd been helping single men. So, when she shared with me that she wanted to take that to the world, she wanted to help more women and create more love in the world. So, I connected with that because that was part of my vision as well, and I even told her the night that we met, and I said, “We have a huge responsibility to humanity.” What I meant by that was I could feel that night that we would do something big together. Then, of course, we ended up creating this business together, helping thousands of women worldwide to attract good men and get into happy marriages and relationships. So, that was a vision I felt that night because she shared her desire with me, and I could connect with that. So, it's compelling.
2. Create Fond Memories Together
People don't tend to fall in love when they're with you; they fall in love when they're away from you and thinking about you. So, when you create fond memories with your guy, he's going to be more likely to think about those memories when he's away from you and remember, “oh, that was so fun last weekend, hanging out with Shelly.” Of course, sometimes you can't control what memories are being formed, but I believe if you intend to go on a date or when you're next hanging out with your guy, how can you make this a memorable experience? How can you make this a night he will not forget? How can you make this a day he will not forget?
It could be as simple as just showing up as your best self, having fun. We'll talk about that in a bit. You are fun to be with, you are your weird, unique, joyful self, and he gets to remember how much fun it was just to be joking with you and having interesting conversations. Make suggestions, too like, “Hey, let's go check out that new restaurant, or it'd be fun to see the sunset tonight. Of course, let him take the initiative too, let him guide that and make the final decision.
Again, talking about sharing your longings and desires, you can just share something too, and you say, “Hey, I've always wanted to see the top of that building or I've always wanted to go paddleboarding on the lake by your house.” Whatever that is for you, something you think will be a memorable experience. Plant that idea by sharing your desire sometime, and then let him take that initiative to execute that and create those fond memories that he looks back on.
This reminded me of a story when I was dating Antia, we were talking one night, and I'd invited her for a ride on my motorbike that I had when I lived on Oahu in Hawaii, where we met. I had said,” let's go check out this beach.” So we took a day trip up there, and while we were there, she said, “Hey, maybe we could just go all the way around the island at this point.” And I said, okay, yeah, let's do that.
So it was already 9:00 PM, and we started going on my motorbike, her on the back, me driving, and it got pretty dark. It turns out we were both not so familiar with the island because we hadn't been there that long, and it was a much longer journey than we had anticipated. So it got pretty scary, we ended up basically in the middle of the night, driving around the island. I was concerned we might hit an animal or see something in the road, or we'd crash. Luckily we didn't.
Now it’s a funny story that we still laugh about to this day – that time we drove around the island at night, and it was just crazy. It was a ridiculous adventure we didn't anticipate. So that's a good example. Sometimes you can't predict it, but it can be very powerful if you can be conscious about it. Now, if you like these tips, if you haven't yet, I highly recommend joining our free Magnetize Your Man Dating and Relationship Support Facebook group. Just go to MYMFBgroup.com or click the button below. We have over 5,000 women, powerful conversations, getting coaching support and accountability.
3. Listen Deeply To Him
People want to feel understood. Steven Covey said, “Seek first to understand before seeking to be understood,” and there's so much power in that. When you can listen to your guy and ask deep questions about his longings, desires, goals, life, family, etc., you can learn a lot, and ideally, you're also getting to see a piece of his heart and a part of his soul. If it's vulnerable and you listen to that, and he still feels accepted by you, that can be an exciting thing that can make him, for one, start to fall in love or two, it can make him think about you because he'll be remembering that connection, that acceptance.
Now, of course, you don't want him to be doing all the talking. So there's a powerful rule that I recommend when you’re first meeting and dating a guy, which is he should be doing about 60 or 70% of the talking roughly and then you should be doing the other 20 or 30%.
An example of this is when I was dating, and I was trying to get good at meeting women because I had grown up in a household where I was cut off from socializing. So I didn't have a lot of experience, and that's what got me on this path to helping men. I would go out and read all these books on pickup artist techniques for the beginning stages of my dating journey. A lot of it was telling stories, fun stories, and others said to go to extremes like doing magic tricks or routines. But I learned, later on, the power of asking questions.
That's when my results started taking off. When I was having much better connections with women is when I started following that rule where I would listen 60 or 70% of the time, sometimes 90%, and then ask great questions and listen to the person I was speaking to and being empathetic and going “mm-hmm, wow, oh, interesting, oh, cool. Oh, when did that happen?” It was really powerful. So that's when I started having great connections. So I believe this isn't mutually exclusive to men or women. I think men or women can do these techniques.
4. Be Feminine, Playful & Fun
The only thing that creates long-term chemistry, attraction, and passion is masculine-feminine polarity. The difference in energies between masculine focused energy and feminine flowing, receptive energy. So, for example, there can only be one leader and one follower in dance at any time. Now, this, of course, will build attraction but also make him think about you because he'll remember that connection, that energetic, masculine-feminine magnetic pole between the two of you.
So how you do this is through embracing your femininity, the flowing little girl energy, playful, curious, joyful, receptive, emotional, letting your emotions flow and letting go of that direction focused, check things off a list masculine energy initiative leadership. You might have in your career, but you need to switch that off for your romantic life, and when you're connecting with your guy, that’ll create that chemistry and connection. It'll make him think about you a lot and start to really fall in love and desire you as well.
One example of this was when I was dating Antia; she used to always do spontaneous dances, which made me think of her, for sure. But, it also activated my desire for her because she would, out of nowhere, start doing what she called “the happy hippo dance.” It was so charming because it's spontaneous. That's the feminine. That's the little girl that just has a spontaneous outburst of joy or starts dancing or, sometimes, there was a reason for it, but it was that playfulness.
So, it's also about embracing that unique part inside of you that is that child energy that can be very attractive and compelling to a man. Now, if you'd like to learn how to master feminine energy more, I'd highly recommend taking our free Magnetize Your Man quiz. Get your custom gifts and resources to attract a man for a long-term commitment. Click the button below or go to MYMquiz.com.
5. Let Him Initiate
If you want a man to think about you, again, you create that masculine-feminine polarity by letting him initiate. But when you're not the one initiating, and you're not the one constantly reaching out to him first, texting him, calling him, asking him out, planning dates, physically initiating, when you're not doing those things, he has to do them. So again, in a dance, only one person can take the masculine role, and one person can take the feminine role at any time. So when you refuse to accept the masculine role (which I have a whole other article about; why you should never chase a man), he has to because somebody has to step into that role or otherwise nothing will happen.
It's a standard you set for yourself that you're not going to take that role. What it also does is it makes him think about you because now he has to think about how he's going to initiate. What is he going to text you? What is he going to invite you out to do? When is he going to make a move? When is he going to lean in to kiss you? Things like that. He has to start thinking about that, and it'll activate his brain, and he has to start planning.
He might have some anxiety, which is good. You want him to have a little anxiety, wondering, “am I going to do the right thing? Is she going to reject me?” Of course, men’s deepest fear is rejection, but it's healthy to have him wondering if he could be rejected because that means he cares. That means he has an investment in the outcome and wants some kind of a connection with you. He was somewhat afraid of losing you or screwing it up. So by letting him take that initiative, you're activating his brain to start thinking in that way.
Now, an excellent example of this is when Antia and I were dating in Hawaii. For the first three months that we were dating, I got to plan a lot of little adventures for us. It was fun to think of those things like, “what do I want to do? I want to take her on this journey or that adventure.” I couldn't do that if she were the one that was planning out all those things. So I think that was a big reason why we ended up having such a successful connection and relationship for sure.
Now I would love to hear from you; what things have you done and noticed that have made men reach out to you and chase you in the past? Comment below. Share the wealth, share with other women. We'd love to hear other successes you've done in applying these kinds of techniques and what worked and what didn't. So let’s help each other with that.
Bonus: Respect & Value YOURSELF
Now for those who stuck around, here’s a bonus secret – respecting and valuing yourself. Now, if you want a man to think about you constantly, you also have to be somebody worth thinking about. So you have to respect yourself, value yourself and treat yourself like a queen. Meaning you have standards, you set boundaries, you're not initiating, you're not chasing, you're not getting desperate. You're keeping yourself in check in that sense and treating yourself well, getting things handled in your own life—all of the things that push you to respect yourself.
T. Harv Eker has a famous saying: “How you do one thing is how you do anything.” So if you're letting other people walk over you at work and you're not speaking up, you're probably going to do the same in your romantic relationships. If you're letting your kids treat you with disrespect, you're probably going to let your man do that to you as well, and you're going to attract more people into your life that will do that because that's how you're viewing yourself.
So, how do you start to fix this? First, you begin to tell yourself positive affirmations, such as, “I'm a queen. I'm awesome. I'm the prize. Men love me. Men chase me. People value me.” So that's going to be part of it, and really feel those affirmations when you say them to yourself, also, by taking baby steps and starting to set small boundaries with people in your environment. Maybe you have a roommate or someone in your life that's taking advantage of you somehow. You have to start setting those boundaries in small ways to get better in more significant ways.
Also, treating yourself well and doing things to take care of areas you might be neglecting. That's going to be essential, getting support in the right areas. A good example of this is when I met Antia, we were dating for a while, and I wasn't giving her a lot of my emotional commitment. So I had been coming from an avoidant attachment style. So I was breadcrumbing her in some ways; we would hang out and have a good time, but then I wouldn't talk about the future or tell her how I was feeling or things like that.
So she, of course, wasn't going to wait around, I mean, she was respecting herself, so she kept living her life, you know? She was even dating other guys because we weren't exclusive yet. That was showing me that she was valuing herself, that she wasn't just going to let herself be strung along. So she started moving on, and then later I started feeling like, “wow, actually, I really do want her in my life. I don't want to lose her.” Especially when I started realizing that she was doing her own thing and moving on somehow, that’s when I began to have feelings of love for her and shortly after that; we became exclusive. So, that's the power of respecting and valuing yourself and holding your standards in a situation with a guy.
How To Make Him Think About You Conclusion
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