In this guide, we explain how to attract a man and keep him. We dive into 5 easy ways you can attract him emotionally.
1. Pace Yourself
If you're anxious and rushing the process, that’s not attractive and you’ll find that the man has to ask himself, “Wait, she doesn't even take the time to get to know me. She doesn't even know who's in front of her. So what's her agenda? Why is she rushing it all so fast?” Now a lot of men will ask themself that question, if you genuinely want to be with them, or if you outright just want to have a relationship.
When you pace yourself, that points more towards a secure attachment style. And for him, when you pace yourself his nervous system will sense that things feel more spacious. You see so many men, especially if they're more on the masculine side of things, which most of the women that come to me want to attract more masculine men into their life, they have this desire to be free. They are concerned about being trapped. So what happens is when you pace yourself, is that part inside of them, that is afraid to be trapped or wants to be free is going to find that freedom.
So for example, when I met my husband, I paced myself and I even said in our wedding vows, that with this ring, I set you free. So even within our long-term commitment, at a moment that was publicly witnessed there’s still an opportunity for him to feel even safer, and that of course allowed him to open up to me even more. So go ahead and comment below, how's that going for you? Pacing yourself. Do you have any challenges with that or not? Let me know.
2. Increase Your Emotional Colors
I talk about this quite a bit, you hand a man a resume. You help him to have an emotional map for himself through mirror neurons. Monkey see monkey do. So, if he sees that you're increasing your emotional colors, let's say you're not just happy all the time, but you also express when you're sad, you also express when you're angry, you also express when you're exhilarated, when you're silly, you're goofy, you naturally permit him to be that as well. This, of course, makes him extremely emotionally attracted to you because he feels emotionally safe. Also, he gets to build more emotional intimacy and trust with you as well.
So for example, when I met my husband, and he saw me breaking down in the hot tub one night, it showed him, “wow, she's emotionally available, she's there, and she has range.” I was usually very happy-go-lucky, and you could think “wow, is she always like that, she is always bouncing off the walls,” but he saw that other part of me too, which, of course, allowed him to acknowledge that very emotion also inside of himself. You see, we all have emotions inside of ourselves that we are afraid to show others, so we typically present only a few of those emotions. So when we then have a partner who freely models this to us and hands us the permission slip to express all of our emotions, it's total freedom. So speaking again to that desire that a lot of masculine men have for freedom.
Now, we also talk a lot about that in my free Magnetize Your Man Dating Support Facebook group, so hop on over to MYMFBGroup.com and let's have a chat.
3. Progress Over Perfection
This is really important ladies because he needs to know that you appreciate him along the way; appreciate him for pulling the chair for you, for paying the valet driver, holding the door open, even the smallest things. I even do this to this day and I've been married for over seven years to my incredible husband. I'll just appreciate it when he heats the food. or tucks me in at night, whatever it may be, I make sure he knows that he’s appreciated. Never let that get old because if you hand the man a resume, that he has to be perfect around you, he's not going to feel safe. He's going to feel like, “oh my gosh, I'm only going to get appreciated when I'm perfect,” and then of course he judges himself, and that lowers his self-esteem. On the other hand, when you appreciate him, he beams, there's more life force energy flooding his system, more motivation that's being generated and activated inside of himself to do more wonderful things.
Now in research studies, we see that with kids. We award the behavior you want to see more off. So you don't want to tell the child, “well, good job, you almost cleaned your room.” No, you're supposed to say, “wow, you did a great job putting the stuffed animals away.” Then it's much more likely that the child will continue to clean their room. That applies to men as well, they’ll want to do more for you to get more of your appreciation. Try it out. Now, also what I would love to know as a comment below, if that's easy for you to do, if you have done that, how it worked for you, love to know.
4. Being Optimistic
There are already so many reasons to be negative in the world, and what I notice is, it is really of utmost importance who we choose as our life partner. Why is that? Well, the environment trumps willpower. So your partner, which in this case, you are the partner to your partner or to the men that you're dating, you are his environment. So you have direct influence over his nervous system and his programs and stories. So if you're a negative Nelly all the time, or you see the world through a pessimistic set of glasses. Like when something amazing happens, if your response is “well not for long,” Or you're constantly complaining then how do you think that makes him feel? My guess is, it's going to make him feel sad, depressed, annoyed. In other words, it's not a positive feeling.
However, if you're more of an optimist and I'm not talking about bouncing off the walls and being disassociated from how he feels, but what I'm saying is if there's an opportunity to see things in a much more powerful way, and taking opportunities to reframe something, taking that. If someone says, “wow, I had this massive problem at work,” saying something like “so you have a little obstacle right now that we have to overcome. That's just a little invitation right now for growth.” He'll love you for that because he can train himself to have his nervous system access different images that lead to different stories, different internal representations, and ultimately make him feel so much more hopeful and confident. When you hand him that, he can recognize that or resonate with that in himself, and he'll be so grateful for it.
Think about it, If you come home and you're just negative and you don't even notice it because maybe you were in traffic, you're already annoyed, maybe something happened with your kids if you have kids, things like that but then your partner or the man that you're dating currently, is saying, “Hey, so what I'm hearing you say is, that a lot has happened today and I would love to hear what are some of the positive moments that happened today?” The brain deletes distorts and generalizes reality. I don't know about you, but I would welcome that positivity and love that, and of course, it makes a man attracted to you emotionally. After all, it shows him that even on the days that he complains or is feeling down, he doesn’t have to worry because you’ve got his back. If you haven't done so already, discover how to trigger his desire to make him beg and plead to be with you, hop on over to TriggerHisDesire.com, and enjoy.
5. Presence
You see, we have 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day and according to Joe Dispenza almost 95% of those thoughts are the same, and where they're coming from is from the past. So what happens is the best opportunity that you can provide for a man to feel emotionally safe is being in the present because the present is the only place where you're in the unknown, where there’s a possibility. Anything can happen, and that is extremely exciting and makes life worth living. Extremely magnetic, extremely mysterious, and this is really where you live outside of your comfort zone instead of repeating the same programs over and over again, which then become boring and predictable resulting in a plateau of attraction. So I'd love to hear in the comments below, which tip are you going to implement or are you already implementing in your life and why?
BONUS: Stability
Now as always, for those of you who stayed until the very end, here's the bonus secret – stability. Now I know what you want to say, wait a minute Antia, you just said, increase your emotional colors and all that. Yes, but it's more about how you relate to all of that. When I was breaking down in a hot tub, I still had stability inside of my nervous system. I recovered within a certain amount of time. So there was a certain stability inside of my nervous system. A man wants to see if there is a frame that you hold for yourself or are you constantly collapsing because you're so unstable inside of yourself, that he has to hold all the stability for you.
He's not going to feel safe with that because he doesn't know what to expect, to what heights it goes, and if it's safe, right, stability also means safety. So for someone to be emotionally attracted to you long-term, they also need to feel safe, I'm not just talking short-term, I'm talking long-term. Of course in the short-term, danger and how that makes you feel afterwards, pumping the adrenaline through your system can also be mistaken for attraction. However, that's not going to hold for the long run.
How To Attract A Man And Keep Him Conclusion
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