5 FATHER WOUND SYMPTOMS & FATHER WOUND PSYCHOLOGY (LOOK FOR THESE SIGNS!) ? The father wound can cause many challenges in love and getting father wound healing and healing the father wound once and for all can be super important to improve your romantic relationships! Many people wonder what is a father wound in psychiatry and especially how to heal the father wound, whether it’s for a daughter or for a son. In this new training, discover what is the father wound and the big secrets and symptoms to look for when healing the father wound for good! ?
Video Transcript
Hi, would you like to discover the five father wound symptoms and learn more about father wound psychology? Hi, I'm Antia Boyd, founder and creator of the Magnetize Your Man method. if you are new to my blog, don't forget to subscribe right below this article, so you get notified for that next juicy article coming your way, that helps you to attract that right man for you.
Now, let's talk about it. What is a father wound? Now, it is in general defined as when the wound, or when the love of the father was missing in some way, shape, or form. This could either be through literally neglect, withdrawal, emotional unavailability, or the opposite, which then would look more as abuse, manipulation, and of course, any negative impact on that emotional connection with the father.
5. Resenting The Masculine
Wound number five is resenting the masculine. If you see men who are just constantly talking negatively about the masculine, oh, he's such a macho, or oh, really, he had to do this, and you can tell when somebody is resenting the masculine, because either they're really celebrating the feminine, or they just really have almost a passive approach to life. For example, they fall more into the category of being beta males, so they will, in general, not initiate or any more, let's say a more forceful energy, a more intense energy. You will not really see that from them. They will negatively also talk about their dad. They will, in general of course, I said before, not have a positive relationship to their dad to begin with.
Of course, that same relates to you too, so if you watch this as a woman, same thing. You have actually a negative, resentful relationship to the masculine, that then could also mean to your inner masculine as well. Maybe, even though you get the job done, or maybe you are a CEO, maybe you own your own company, maybe you are traveling the world and doing all of that, but you're actually resenting men for that. You're resenting the masculine. You actually want to, you want to be more in the feminine, and you just feel you have to take on the masculine because your dad was not doing that.
4. Peter Pan Syndrome And Extended Adolescence
Symptom number four is he has the Peter Pan syndrome, also known as extended adolescence. I can really relate to that. I dated guys where they'd rather go sailing, they'd rather do other things, just went on adventure. Usually Peter Pans love adventures way more than responsibility, than groundedness. You'll meet a lot of Peter Pans when you travel. A lot of independence goes right along with that. There is the sense of I don't want to grow up. I just want to stay a boy. Often times also, which is one of the reasons why I tell women not to go to bars and clubs to meet men there, because there is a very high chance that you will meet more of a Peter Pan in a bar, in a club, because their value is partying and just being in your little boy, versus taking responsibility.
You'll see here, also, because it wasn't modeled by the dad, there's also not really knowing what it means to be the masculine. Maybe the dad was actually the fun uncle, you know what I mean, the fun best friend, but there was not really the reliability that came with that. Maybe they never really learned how a father actually feels how aligned he is, how rooted he is, how grounded he is. Maybe they never got to feel that. They just got to feel, oh hey, let's have fun together, let's play together. Oftentimes it comes from that or it's also, there are certain aspects of the masculine that men really love, which is the little boy, but then really resents other aspects of the masculine, for example, the king, the warrior, that have more responsibility.
3. Fear Of Power
Symptom number three, the fear of power. Now, I just want to walk into somewhat edgy territory, because that either meant a couple of things, either there was abuse in his family. The dad was verbally, physically abusing him. There was some domination, there was control in the household, and so then, as a response, he pushed power away, because he only observed power in a positive way. Or the same for you as a woman, fear of power. You're not really owning the power. You're actually scared of your own power, because the only time when you have seen power being used was in an abusive way, was in a negative way.
Then what happens is, you're actually suppressing your power. When somebody is, again, fearful of power, there's no initiation. There's also not really just taking up space, coming into the space, claiming space, being assertive, speaking your truth. But instead, when somebody is really afraid of power, they let someone else lead. They'd rather be the followers. They'd rather be the observers that tend to be also a little bit more potentially on the withdrawn side, more on the hesitant side. Also, what I often see through with that fear of power is passive aggressiveness, and the reason being is because that protest, that anger, we'll go into symptom number two in a moment, is still in the body. You can't just say it's not there, just because you don't want it to be there. It's still there, and it still has to be expressed one way or the other, so it comes out sideways.
We are starting to act in passive aggressive ways that we're not aware of, rather it be in our body language. When I was dating, for example, I would meet men, I would be passive aggressive in that sense. I would already push them away. I would already be upset for rejecting me, before they even said anything. I already had this way of being that was passive aggressive, pushing it away. Or, it was also that I love to punish men. When they were just calling me five minutes late, I would actually just delete them delightfully out of my phone book, and that would be the end of that. There would be no compassion. There would be no warmth. There would be no connection. There would be no understanding. There would just be pure, really just punishment, passive aggression.
2. Anger Issues
Now, let's talk about it, as we started to become a little bit edgy here. Now the opposite can happen. If you have a father wound, you can also have the opposite. You can actually have the pulse of your dad. Let's say your dad was a little bit more on the abusive side. You could have that pulse really pumping through your own veins, through your own arteries. What that means is you are going to be explosive. You are going to just, the switch is going to flip at a moment's notice, without any warning, and you're just going to get upset really quickly, in general. This has actually two origins. For one, you already observed, unconsciously, that aggravated system of your father inside of yourself. You were feeling it. Especially as we're little kids, we're really mirroring our parent's nervous system.
So that's number one. That all could've happened there. So there is already this aggravation constantly in your system, and also with that goes the panic. Then panic, if that was not accepted because it feels not really safe to feel panic, and helpless, and powerless. Instead, it feels much safer to be angry and to be rageful, then that's how you work. That's when you're expressing it, the anger issues. Another way how this could happen is actually when your dad was not showing up, and you were just becoming this people pleaser, jumping through all the hoops, and now you have those anger issues, because you had to suppress so much anger, and now it comes all the way out, because there's so much about the unfairness. It's so unfair. Why did you have to deal with that? He's the dad. He has the responsibility. That's something to keep in mind as well when it comes to anger issues.
1. Fear Of Intimacy & Fear Of Commitment
Finally, symptom number one is, of course, fear of intimacy and commitment. Now here's the thing, think about it this way. If you have a father wound, there was no love from your father in that sense. You didn't receive the love from your father how you needed to receive it. That tells me actually two things. For one, the receptors to receive the love from your dad are really either dormant, or almost close to non-existent, so you're going to have fear of more intimacy, because intimacy actually means the other person is sending you love. The other person gives you attention. The other person gives you compliments. But it's going to be really, really hard for you to receive that.
Also, don't forget, in intimacy and commitment, trust is a huge component of all of this. If your dad didn't give you the love that you thought you deserved, you also stopped trusting men. In this case, whether if you're dating men, or just seeing one man, they stop trusting women, they stop trusting intimacy, closeness, connection, because they was so deep bitterly disappointed in their own childhood, every time when there were reaching out, when they were hoping for response from the dad, which then didn't happen. As a consequence, the closer someone then gets, the more panic the system feels because it felt abandoned. It felt in despair, even. It felt survival, anguish, existential anguish, that's what I want to say. Of course, we don't want to go for that. Therefore, we're just pushing the intimacy and the commitment away, because we have not experienced that in our childhood.
Conclusion
So those are the five father wound symptoms for today, and you learned a little bit more about father wound psychology. I would love to hear from you in that question of the day. Which of those father wound symptoms resonated with you the most, either in someone that you are currently dating or in yourself? Would love to hear. Also, if you love this article, share it with your girlfriend, and of course, don't forget to subscribe to my blog, and let's have a conversation.
If you are really struggling with father wounds, you have a really hard time with the masculine inside of yourself, trusting men, I invite you to take my Magnetize Your Man quiz by clicking the button below. This is it for today and I hope this was helpful for you!
