Mommy issues in females are very common, and many women with mommy issues often end up struggling in their relationships because of them. Mommy issues for daughters are super important to heal, and if you’re not even sure what are mommy issues and you would like to know the top mommy issues symptoms, then this training will help! These 5 big symptoms of mommy issues are often subtle, and often the signs of mommy issues don’t even reveal themselves except in certain situations. However, knowing how to deal with mommy issues when they come up and having a full grasp of mommy issues psychology will be SUPER helpful to you when they do. Enjoy!
So what are mommy issues? Look at a healthy mom and daughter relationship, there’s confidence, there’s acceptance of the personality, and there’s a harmonious bond between the two. However, oftentimes some moms are under-resourced, there are single moms, and many different reasons why your mom could not be available to you to the extent that you needed it. She was either emotionally cold, or she was emotionally needy, meaning she was empty and she needed you to give her all the love that she never received. So that’s a recipe for mommy issues. So let’s go ahead and dive into the top five mommy issues in females.
1. Replicating Your Relationship With Your Mother Repeatedly
Mommy issue number five is replicating your relationship with your mother. So this could look many different ways. For one, it could have looked like they were having difficulties setting boundaries. When you look at the rights psychology, Wilhelm Reich talks about that; if you don’t have the right to separate, the right to say no, to speak up, to speak your truth, you have difficulties setting boundaries. If you learn that you are an extension of your mom, this is particularly true. When you have a narcissistic mom and you are this golden child that she projected her positive attributes through it can be extremely hard to set boundaries without guilt because especially if you have a narcissistic mother, guilt-tripping was the number one tool that she used to gain control over you.
Now, another way how you can replicate a relationship with your mom is by distorting your sense of self. Again, when we talk about having a narcissistic mother or an emotionally unavailable withdrawn mother, oftentimes your sense of self is completely distorted. You define yourself more through other people’s reflections of you versus your own. So you don’t have this healthy connection to your core; you don’t really know what your truth is. You often go into a lot of questioning, second-guessing, and doubting yourself.
Thirdly, you can replicate your relationship with your mother by being overly sensitive. So what can often happen is that your mom was overly sensitive because she was so out of balance, so she was eventually collapsing into her victimhood. If you have an emotionally unavailable mom, it can also be you are not welcome, your sensitivity does not feel safe so then what happens is you become what you might consider “overly sensitive.” Now I never believe in that, I love highly sensitive women but what we are looking at here is what you label yourself as. So this is the number five mommy issue.
2. Not Many Female Friends
Mommy issue sign number four is not having many female friends. So what that shows for one, is that you have learned that you can’t trust women; you can’t trust the feminine. Therefore, you don’t have many female friends. This often can come from a place of jealousy, if you received any jealousy from your mom, your mom was jealous of you, or she didn’t want you to have a good life. Maybe she told you, “You’re not going to get this guy. You’re not praying enough. You’re not this enough” because she was secretly jealous of you, this often creates that very dysfunctional unhealthy relationship with other women because unconsciously, you expect those other women to act like your mom. You may think that they are pretending to be a friend but actually, they’re secretly jealous of you and they’re secretly trying to sabotage you.
Now, how that can show up is, for example, if you are not really connecting that consistently with your girlfriends. Maybe they are saying, “Hey, you reach out once a month or twice a month, what’s happening,” there’s always this need for space or you get busy, or you can’t go that deep. So when you have a deep conversation with someone, you need so much space to recover from that. You almost have a little bit of a hangover, a vulnerability hangover from having to share something really vulnerable with your girlfriend, that you literally need space and you back off. So this is also another sign that you don’t trust women, you feel like your system is terrified and in a panic because it just revealed something vulnerable to another woman. So this is mommy issue sign number four.
3. Being A TomBoy
Mommy issue sign number three is being a tomboy. Now, look at what can happen in this whole process when there is so much wounding around connecting with the feminine, which of course was your mom. Your mom was that first female sample of humanity for you, so you project naturally onto every female, the behavior of your mom. If you completely reject that feminine side, you become a tomboy.
Now becoming a tomboy can feel really safe. You’re just kinda buddy-buddy, everything is cool but there’s also emotional unavailability and there’s a denial of the feminine. There’s a denial of the softness, a denial of that gracefulness, that tenderness. It’s more than just being cool with everything, almost being a little bit blander, a little bit more, not too emotional here. So if you fall more into the tomboy category, chances are that you most likely have mommy issues. You’re resisting, you’re rejecting a part of what you see in your mom, and that you see inside of yourself, so you’re turning yourself into a tomboy.
Tomboys also tend to be more on the avoidant side, they tend to need more space. They also tend to stay a little bit more on the surface, they don’t go so deep. It’s like guys, you’re just kind of, buddy-buddy, but then it goes into some deep territory and psychological analysis and we’re not doing that as tomboys. So that is mommy issue sign number three.
4. Difficulty Establishing An Emotional Bond
Mommy issues sign number two is difficulty creating a healthy bond; actually seeing what the healthy markers of creating a healthy bond are. Part of that is actually attunement. So you can’t even slow down with another person to attune to them, to see: Do they need space? Do you need space? Are you actually able to receive from them? So maybe you’re really good at sourcing yourself and connecting to yourself, but when it comes to allowing someone else to connect to you, maybe not so much, and you tend to be a little bit more on the avoidant side.
Oftentimes this can make you feel numb, you can feel almost frozen inside of your system. It almost feels like, “Oh, I don’t need anyone, I’m good. I’m so good. How about you? Do you need anything?” Like this distortion that you give your power away on the one hand and pay attention, you attune to the other person but you don’t allow another person to attune to you. There’s this difficulty building this bond, sharing something vulnerable, being witnessed maybe in your sadness, maybe in some emotional state, whatever it is, and there’s also an emotional distortion. So when you’re avoidant, often when you hit either anger or sadness, you’re not expressing that congruently. Instead, you laugh, you chuckle, you make fun of it. You’re telling the world, “please don’t take me seriously, I don’t take myself seriously.” So of course that’s something to watch out for and hopefully heal.
5. Resenting Men
And last but certainly not least, mommy issue sign number one is you resent men. Isn’t that interesting? Yes, it can happen that you resent women, and also you resent men. Now, this is when you actually observed that your mom was resenting men as well. If you feel your dad should have stepped up to the plate and he simply didn’t, like he was emotionally unavailable maybe that’s why your mom was a single mom, we don’t know exactly what happened but resenting men is a really big thing.
You’re really resisting and pushing away any masculine support, any idea that the masculine could come and be your hero and protect you. All of those ideas you’re completely resenting and pushing down because maybe you visualize what you saw in your mom; so much vulnerability and so much collapse and also the coldness that came with that. Then you say “I don’t want to be that.” Because remember, whenever your mom was unstable emotionally, whenever she’s unavailable, cold, narcissistic, a victim, all of that, you take that on into your dating life as well. So if you saw that your mom was going into this victimhood and she was helpless and powerless, and you’re like “I don’t like that at all.” Then you’re going to end up really, really resenting men. So that’s something to be aware of.
Now how do you know when you resent men? You like to punish them, you can almost cut them out of your life, you love to delete their phone number, you are in charge, you like to emasculate them. So you can tell you, you take a little bit of joy in punishing men. That’s how you really know that you are resenting men. You think there’s something there that they should be punished for, you’re setting them up for failure, you have all those rules and all those regulations and have them jump through all those hoops. In that case, I’d say it’s a good sign that you are resenting men.
So those are the top five mommy issues signs in females! For more great content like this, subscribe to our YouTube channel HERE, and If you want to discover how to HEAL mommy issues and start attracting the right loving long-term relationship of your dreams, I invite you to take my FREE “Mommy Issues In Love” test and get your personalized healing strategy using the link now below!