Why do guys test boundaries? Women often ask me so many questions such as “Is he testing me by not calling?” or “Do men test women?” and “Why do men test women?” In this new training, I’ll reveal to you the top 5 ways how men test you and how guys test a girl. Once you understand men and how men think more, how men test women makes a lot more sense. There are so many different ways men test women and also WHY men test women so knowing these 5 methods will be super helpful to you moving forward! 😊
1. He’s Interested In How You React To Tough Situations
Sign number five is he is testing you on how you react in tough situations. How is he testing you? Well, It could be that he is going to be late or other things like that, maybe it was something out of his control. For example, maybe he has a flat tire and he’s going to go on a road trip with you.
What is this? It’s a tough situation, there’s stress and he actually wants to see how you handle that stress. How do you change? How do you react? Are you starting to get angry at him? Are you starting to blame him? Are you starting to put all the responsibility on him? Or maybe the opposite, are you having a good time? Are you rolling with the punches? Are you doing stuff right? You’re like, “Let’s start over, I’m enjoying myself.” So that’s something that they’re really, really looking for in a woman; how are you reacting in tough situations? He needs to know that you are here for him, regardless of the circumstances.
2. He Wants To See If You Have His Back
Sign number four, he tests you to see if you have his back. So that could include seeing if you talk bad behind his back, or If you defend him. If you’re really advocating for him in situations that are potentially not easy. You’re there for him like, “Hi, I have your back. “I support you. I’m here for you.” So maybe he had a tough week at work, maybe something is going on with his extended family. There’s some stress in his life and he wants to see, do you just want the attention? Does it always have to be about you or do you actually have his back? Can he rely on you? Are you that safe haven for him that he can go to when life is getting a little bit tougher, or it seems like everyone is against him? Sometimes that just happens at work and in life, and are you always there for me? Do you always have my back?
3. He Asks His Friends What They Think About You
Sign number three, he asked his friends what they think about you. Now, this actually happened to me personally when I was dating this guy, wow, that was 15 years ago, and he literally (and don’t take this personal when this happens) had his friend come to the movie theater with his girlfriend. So I was there with this guy that I was dating and randomly ran into this guy’s best friend and his girlfriend, and first of all I was thinking, does he not want to be with me? What does this mean? Does he think I’m boring? Why are they here? He didn’t let me know they’d be here. On the bright side, this is a good sign because he wants to know his friends’ opinions. He’s serious.
Now, I personally found that out because his friend ended up telling me that he was there because he wanted to check me out, he wanted to see if I’m a good fit, because he’s never seen his friend be so enamored and be so, head over heels for a girl, the way he was about me. The friends have to check out if she’s legitimate, don’t take that personally. This was because this guy was interested in me. So if a man is testing you on that level, you randomly run into friends at a bar, even though you were hoping you have a one-on-one date, don’t take it personal. He’s probably testing you.
4. He Sees If You Hold Your Value Even When He Challenges You
Sign number two, and this can’t be more important. He will test you to see if you can hold your own when he challenges you. Can you hold your own frame? Can you hold your own truth? Can you hold your own opinion, when he challenges you? Can you stay in your own confidence, or are you collapsing into his energy, into his opinion? Are you collapsing into him physically, too? Or are you like, “I don’t think so.” “I don’t think… that sports team is going to win.” Or, “I don’t know if I agree with this.”
So he’s really just making sure that you’re your own person as well, because he can only feel safe if he knows you can also hold your own. At the end of the day, we want to create interdependence in a relationship, and that is only possible if there’s two healthy, independent parts that then also create a healthy couple identity as well. As the couple identity and he needs to know that he has that space, that you have your individual identity as well within the relationship, right. That everybody can breathe, everybody can grow independently and that you will never sell out on your own values. That’s really important because that’s about him really respecting you. It’s one thing for him to love you, to like you, to be enchanted by you, but it’s another thing to truly respect you. So if that happens, make sure you’re holding your own, you’re serving it back a little bit, and leaning into the edge and having a good time.
5. He Gets Back In Touch With You Even After A Big Conflict
Finally sign number one is he gets back in touch with you even after you have a big conflict. So instead of him not calling you anymore, stonewalling you, just disappearing or ghosting on you, he actually comes back. So you guys have an argument, you don’t agree about something, for example those dishes shouldn’t be in the sink or he picked you up too late.You can actually have an argument and feel safe enough that he is coming back because he’s interested in you. He’s not just going to stay away and look for the path of least resistance, that’s not why he’s interested in you. When he’s interested in you, he will want to work things out. At the end of the day, he will want to make you happy, he wants to see your smile, he wants to work it out, he wants to know what your truth is. He’s invested in you.
So make sure that he comes back after a big fight, that he knocks on the door, he has a bouquet of flowers. He calls you, he texts you; that he reaches back because that also shows that you have a relationship that is actually surviving a conflict, which inevitably will happen. You guys are both coming from different backgrounds, from different parents, from different belief systems, from different schools, potentially, who knows. So there will be conflict because there’s different assumptions, different internal representations that you have of the same things. So don’t think that conflict in and of itself is something bad. It’s more, how do you recover from that? Are you recovering from that? It’s that coming back from that, that actually shows so much more; if you can really rely on that relationship.
So those are the five signs to see if he’s interested in you or if he’s testing you. For more great content like this, subscribe to our YouTube channel HERE, and if you’d like to discover how to PASS any tests that he might send your way and attract the right man for you, you can now get my FREE “Magnetize Your Man” Quiz & personalized strategy by using the link now below!