Discover why he ghosted you and came back! If a guy ghosted and came back and youâre wondering why do men leave and come back, then this will help. Oftentimes women wonder why do men pull away and then come back, and the reasons are often complex. However, once you understand why do men come back and even why men come back MONTHS later, then you can more easily relate to and understand how men think, feel and operate. Enjoy! đ

If youâre reading this article, my guess is that either someone has recently ghosted you and youâre wondering if theyâll come back or youâve had someone come back after ghosting you and youâre curious if they have the right motives. Either way, your question will be answered.
Hereâs a little bit about ghosting. So, what you have to understand is that ghosting is not necessarily intentional. Nobody wakes up thinking âIâm going to ghost someone today.â If they do, you may be dealing with a pathological case â a psychopath or a sociopath or a sociopathic narcissist, but this isnât something that normal men think or do.
What happens instead, especially if they have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, is that they start to disconnect. This can happen for many different reasons. For one, there could be confusion. Remember, the confused mind says, no. So if you were texting with him for example, and maybe you said something that made him question something like, âI think sheâs feminine but now she said something masculine and now I donât know where I standâ or âshe laughed even though it wasnât funnyâ. This may cause him to start to doubt himself.

For example, if you shared something sad but you laughed about it because thatâs your coping mechanism he may be confused by your response and question whether he should laugh too. This can make him feel very confused and uncomfortable inside of himself and then he disconnects, but he doesnât say, âIâm not going to meet this person again,â he just doesnât think about it anymore. The brain starts to forget to call you and the brain stops and deletes, distorts, and generalizes reality. Heâll say to himself, âoh, Iâll call her laterâ with every intention to but then that ends up being a slippery slope because it leads to him forgetting about you. So thatâs one incident where men can ghost you.
Itâs important to understand why he may ghost you before diving into the reasons why he would come back â Iâm laying the foundation first. The second reason why he would ghost you but weâre also going to be talking about this is why he comes back, itâs actually because his nervous system didnât feel safe. Just to summarize it for you because I canât go into really deep psychological principles here but essentially, when we look at the developmental stages of a child, we look at five developmental stages and then in those five development stages, there are definite wound patterns that can occur if the need has not been met or is met inappropriately by the primary caregiver. If youâd like to learn more about this get your free quiz & custom gifts & support to attract the right man for you using the special button below!

For example, if this man doesnât feel safe to be in his body, that would be the first indication that thereâs a wound that happened in the first developmental stage. This means anywhere between minus six months in the womb to about, I think itâs a year or so. Then what you look at here is okay, this is someone who doesnât feel close. So if youâre someone thatâs very fiery and youâre coming in hot and with a lot of passion â youâre a very direct person; But maybe heâs more of an internal person, he keeps more to himself. So, even though he may be fun and loving and all of that he actually may have a very sensitive nervous system, and heâll respond to that by pulling back. And thereâs nothing wrong with you at all. You didnât know how to pace that energy so that he feels safe in his nervous system. This could be the same for you, and whatever your wounds are. That could be another reason why he ghosts you but then eventually comes back.
At some point, he leaves his body and he comes back into his body, and his reality and is like, âSuzy, oh I havenât reached out to Suzy in a while.â He was able to associate with reality again after disassociating for a while and he comes back after ghosting you. When this happens, heâll often even act like nothing happened because itâs literally, at that moment that they disassociate, theyâre just gone. What do I mean? Itâs almost like they forget what happened before, if that makes sense.

The point is that there are several developmental stages that somebody can get stuck in, and you will have your own too. Thatâs why he could leave but then come back around once he feels âsafe enough.â This has a lot to do with the nervous systems and has a lot to do with how he receives if the receptor is available for love or tension or for the questions that you have for him. Can he accurately metabolize them? Because if he canât, then heâs not going to feel safe. He will not know what to do with it and will feel uncomfortable at the minimum, and out of control, potentially helpless at the extreme, depending on what parts are being triggered. So I hope that makes a little bit more sense â He comes back because itâs not about you, itâs about him.
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Sometimes itâs true when men say, itâs not about you, itâs about me. All you can do, and what often happens when you come in hot, is realize that that usually also means that youâre not quite associated either, youâre not really in your body. Most women that come to me, theyâre not embodied, not present â theyâre very much in their head, theyâre in analysis paralysis, and overthinking. Where do you feel this in your body? You likely know how to think about it but not how to feel about it. So youâre not attuned to yourself because youâre not even connected fully to yourself. So, of course, you also missed that attunement to what the other person may feel. Like maybe you should have felt that thereâs a high level of sensitivity there and you want to give them a little space for them to stay connected and present with you. The same is true with the man.
What can you do to become more attuned to yourself, you ask? Well, the most important thing is really to feel your body. Am I breathing? Do I feel my bum on the chair? Do I feel my feet on the ground? But the biggest thing is actually, am I breathing? And I know this is so simple, but if you do it at the moment, youâll become more present and more connected.
He Ghosted Me And Came Back Conclusion
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