Discover the 7 signs he doesn't care about the relationship and the answer to “is he just using me or not?” Learning how to know if a guy is using you or likes you can often be tough. However, once you know the signs a man is using you, it can be much easier to know “is he using me or does he like me?” Enjoy! 😊
1. He Always Has An Excuse
Now, what often happens is when dating a man who is using you; when you call him out or ask him questions, he will always have an excuse. He had a flat tire, his mom needed his help, his grandma died, his hamster fell into the sink. It almost becomes laughable, and I'm sure your girlfriends are already rolling their eyes because they're like, “Okay, what's the next excuse he's going to come up with?”
The reason for this is that he's not giving you the full commitment that you desire to have from him. Instead, he either has someone else on the side or he’s simply using you – whether for your money or sex or for other favors that you do for him. I mean, girlfriend, I've heard quite the stories, so time to get out of there, he is using you.
2. He Only Calls You For Favors
This goes along the same lines, which is there’s always got to be something in it for him. So when you get a call from him and you're asking yourself, “Wait, what's in it for me” you will quickly realize that there is nothing in it for you. It’s always, “Hi babe, how are you? Can you do me a quick favor?” Let me tell you, I've heard crazy stories where the women were babysitting for the guy who was on a business trip, only to find out that on the business trip, he had a whole different relationship with a different woman.
Okay, so time to push the brakes and say, “No more. What's in it for me?” If you want to learn more about what we're talking about here, then get your free quiz, your custom gifts as well, that help you to step more into your power, into your queen, be unapologetic and set the boundaries accordingly when a man just dares to try to attempt to use you.
3. “If You Loved Me” Trap
I call this one the “If you loved me” trap. Now, what can often happen is if you refuse to give the man what he wants, he can pull the “if you loved me” trap. So maybe he says, “Hi babe, can you give me 50 bucks so I can put gas into my tank” or “Can you just do this thing real quick?” I mean, I had women co-sign loans, it's nuts! Definitely, be super aware of this if you meet someone online. So if they say something like “If you love me, you would do that for me.” or “My future wife would go through hell for me.” I would say, girlfriend, lace up those sneakers it's time to run in the opposite direction!
This is not okay because this has nothing to do with your love for him. After all, he's saying that if you loved him, you’d disrespect yourself. If you loved him, you’d leave yourself, you’d abandon yourself, you’d deny your needs, you wouldn’t listen to your instincts. By the way, you take care of him, what? He is there to take care of you. You are most likely a very successful, highly powered, high-quality woman and you deserve someone that does something for you for a change.
Instead, if somebody says, “If you loved me”, hold up because this is a doormat alert. Something inside of you is sending the signal that he can’t do that with you. So it's time to set the boundaries and say, “Well hey, we're definitely not in the same conversation here, and if that's what it means, then that's what it means, but you're not going to get my money, I'm not going to just go to the store for you, I'm not going to sign anything for you.”
4. He Is Only Available On Odd Days
So there are many different reasons why men use you and part of it could be, he is dating someone else. He's not respecting you and he's using you because, as I said before, you're maybe financially better off or things of that nature. How you can tell is he's available on Thursday at five or on Sunday at three, or just odd days and times. You never get the Friday night or the Saturday night date. You never get the majority of the day, it's always going to be something random.
I had one client and it was always a breakfast date at seven in the morning. It's like, “Hi! where do you need to be at nine,” you know? And so if it's odd things, early in the morning, super late at night, that's the booty call where you can tell he was on a date with someone else and now he calls you to get his dessert. No, thank you. Okay, so those are signs to watch out for. Now this and so much more we talk about in my free Magnetize Your Man Facebook group using the link below!
5. He Is MIA
What I mean by that is, I had one friend tell me a story where she was dealing with a couple and everything just always went to voicemail. This person could just not reach the spouse, and this could happen in relationships too -when you date someone, but they were missing in action. There was no response to your text message and the man is just not reaching out to you, and he's just not communicating or he's just nonchalantly breaking the date that you guys just decided to have, and then three weeks later comes up out of ghost town. We call that zombie-ing, and he's come up out of nowhere, nonchalantly, doesn't apologize, and just minimizes that he was gone for three weeks, doesn't even give any reason. So he's missing in action.
There's a lot of words, but unfortunately not a lot of actions. Girlfriend, in this case, I highly recommend getting the heck out of there. So again, this is a reminder to take my free Magnetize Your Man quiz so you got out of that rat race. So if you're done with doing that, click on the link below!
6. He Never Goes Out Of His Way
So this is pretty important. This is maybe a big thing if the man doesn't live in your town and you are always the one who goes out of your way to meet his needs, or maybe you drive to him, or you always think about how you can surprise him, but you realize that you don't get surprised. Maybe the man is saying, “Oh wait, I don't want to drive that far on a Thursday night” or “Oh, just one hour to us, it's just too much.” So there's this feeling of, “Wait a minute, I'm doing all of this for you”, it's similar to him calling you only for favors.
He never goes out of his way in terms of making you happy. Being interested, invested in what makes you tick. He’s not interested in learning about you, doing anything special for you, spending quality time or meeting your desires. He doesn't do any of that. He's never willing to make any compromises. It's all about me, myself and I. Girlfriend, he's teaching a big lesson there because that should be the same for you. Time to put yourself first, time to put yourself on a pedestal and give this guy a hall pass. I mean, a run-pass.
7. You Feel Drained VS Uplifted
This is particularly important and may seem like common sense but it’s often harder to notice in reality and that’s you feel drained versus uplifted. This, of course, comes from if you are used to jumping through all the hoops from your childhood. If you had a dad and he was emotionally unavailable and he was just not there for you and you thought, If I just burn myself out, if I just do whatever I can, if I just drain the heck out of myself and give him all the power and all the energy and all the pleasure and all the fun and all the entertainment and all the things, then he'll love me, okay?
That's why you may not notice when you feel drained because, for you, it's normal. As a matter of fact, for you, you may even feel like, “Oh, I'm getting closer to him loving me,” because that was the hope that you had as a little girl. However, this will never come into reality because you're attracting the wrong man into your life. You're attracting that man into your life who matches the profile of your dad. So a man who makes you feel very similar to how you felt towards your dad. So this is powerful to know because the only healing from that is starting to go on dates with men that don't feel that familiar. They may even feel a little bit boring or bland to your nervous system. However, something inside of you leaves you uplifted when you leave them.
So, ladies, my question for you is what sign have you experienced? What is helpful for you and where do you need more support? Leave your answers in the comment section below, I can’t wait to hear from you!