Discover what men need to fall in love and what MAKES a man fall in love with a woman with these 5 keys! Knowing when a guy falls in love can be tough, but if you understand what a man needs from a woman and what drives a man crazy about a woman it can help you to see the signs that a man wants to be with you. After all, men WANT to be needed. Enjoy! 😊
1. Feeling Emotionally Safe
Now, this can mean many different things for one, you have to be aware of when you go into your own trigger. Let's say you have some anger issues or you become too controlling. Are you going to start attacking him? Are you attacking his little boy? Does his heart not feel safe? One thing that happens, that I see all the time is a man really protects you physically but are you protecting your man emotionally?
You protect his heart but you make sure that you don't emasculate him. Make sure that you're not going to take advantage of the tenderness of the little boy inside of himself, that you're not going to be condescending towards him. Things that ensure he can feel emotionally safe, that he can express all of his emotions – his anger, his sadness, his joy, his playfulness. That’s when he feels completely unconditionally loved and respected.
2. Feeling Received As A Man
Let me give you an example, a few years ago I was doing a little bit of matchmaking and I had this gorgeous woman I worked with and I set her up on a date with this incredible man that my friend who was a matchmaker had sent my way. I knew I had the perfect person for her but I also knew she was a little bit more on the masculine side – okay, a lot on the masculine side.
So he was this incredible guy, a mix between an engineer and a musician. He has masculine and feminine energy and I just said, do not mess this up. So, she went on the date and later on I had a debrief call with him and he told me that he felt he had no place next to her. She was just leading the conversations, leading with all the championships she had won and guess what? He certainly did not feel received as a man. He didn't feel masculine. His protective instinct wasn't coming out. He certainly didn't feel like treating her as a woman he wanted to date, more like a business partner instead.
So make sure that you bring the appreciation out of the man. Let go of the story that, “if he’s smart he’s probably going to want to know how smart I am.” You're absolutely wrong about that. I’ve talked to so many men, successful men, and they said the last thing they need is another person next to them. They already have that in their friendships, they already have that in their business partners. They need something different. They need someone feminine who can receive all of him.
I'm not talking about sexual tension yet, that's our next point. The tension comes from holding your own in a relationship. The tension I'm talking about is between the couple’s identity and the individual identity. Make sure you have your own life, make sure you have your own friends, make sure you have your own hobbies.
By having your own life and interests, you’re rebuilding that tension over and over again. There’s genuine curiosity when he asks, “Hey, how was your day?” because he doesn’t have all the answers already. This keeps men on their toes and keeps things interesting. You bring variety, you bring in state changes. So that's pretty important, to hold your own because you have to be authentic with yourself and that's what keeps things extremely interesting.
I hear from women all the time, “Can I be with a man that I don’t have chemistry with?” Have you seen how many couples get divorced? They don't have chemistry, and they just thought somehow magically it's going to appear. No! If a man doesn't feel fully honored in his masculinity and his sexuality he's not going to feel the wild man inside of himself.
So if we talk about the archetypes inside of ourselves. It's the most primitive part, the most animalistic part but also the oldest part inside of a man. That’s what encourages him to pursue a woman when he's sexually attracted to her – that evolutionary and biological part of him.
So, let it be heard because I hear women say all the time well, I'm already so masculine, I just need somebody who will be more masculine. No, it's not going to work. Those guys run in the opposite direction. How you can make sure you create this tension and this attraction without allowing yourself to drop into your feminine, to relax into your femininity. That fear of relaxing into your femininity, of course, comes back to the unknown, the uncertainty of what's going to happen next if I relax into it. It's scary but it is so worth it.
5. Growing With You
This is a big piece here because a lot of couples actually end up getting divorced or just growing apart because they cannot grow with each other. They don't have similar values, similar viewpoints, or similar outlooks on life. So they can't fully grow with each other. There's not enough authenticity to grow with each other if there's always the pretense and the performance. “Oh, I always have to be nice and friendly but I can't let out my angry side because I'm going to get rejected by him.” Or “I can't let out my sad side because I'm going to get taken advantage of by him.” Then ultimately that lack of trust will stop your growth. You will hit what I call, a plateau and you will not go further from that.
Growth happens at the edge of the comfort zone. So you want to push yourself. For example, when I started dating Brody, I told him that a part of me was thinking about how to manipulate him, you know how to guilt-trip him. And he said, “Oh really, why did this part of you want to do that?” It felt so liberating and so freeing. So of course that part inside of me said, “Antia have you lost your mind? If you tell Brody that you wanted to manipulate him he's going to run for the hills. You have to do everything to keep him as close as you possibly can.” Wrong, I knew that we had to approach the edge of that comfort zone so we could grow together and if he can't handle that then I can't be authentic and honest with him our relationship would not have a future.
Now, eight years in we get asked, “how come that you guys are still in the honeymoon phase. When are you leaving the honeymoon phase?” Well, we're honeymooning forever because we're leaning into the tension and embracing the growth. So, become comfortable with going outside your comfort zone or losing a certain knowing in your relationship so you can evolve into the next stage.
If you liked this article I invite you to take my free Magnetize Your Man quiz at magnetizeyourman.com or simply by clicking that button below. I also have a free playlist course for you on how to make a man chase you that you can watch down below.