Struggling to figure out what to do when he pulls away? There are many common mistakes that women make in dating. In this article, we will share 5 pieces of advice to explain why he may be pulling away and what you can do.
1. Treat Yourself Like a Queen
Now, the reason why he is most likely pulling away is that you treat yourself more like a doormat. You're probably investing a lot of time into him, you're probably focusing a lot on him, and he starts to begin to take you for granted. So how can you reverse that? The good thing is that dating is a dynamic game, which means you can change it, you can shift it, you can do something different and you can get different results. Nothing is set in stone.
So what would a queen do? Well, the queen invests in herself – she takes bubble baths, she takes her sweet time, she makes sure that her hair is done when she shows up to dinner with friends. She's not in a rush. She respects herself, she sets boundaries. girlfriend, maybe you haven't set boundaries with him and he's taking you for granted. On the other hand, maybe you have been so harsh and so abrupt with him because when you set boundaries, you’re too much in your masculine and so it's such a distortion that he backed off from that because you haven't learned yet how to set boundaries while being compassionate at the same time.
2. Fall in Love with the Pause
What often happens, especially if you're someone with an anxious attachment style is that you need to have immediate results. You need to know what the outcome is. Chances are when you are on a date, you are filling in the blanks. You make the conversation, you ask all the questions and you lead the conversation. What you don't do is pause.
Pausing is very magnetic; it allows the other person to metabolize and integrate the information that they have just received. What happens sometimes when the man pulls away is because he needs space to integrate and metabolize everything that he has received from you. If you overstuffed him like a turkey on thanksgiving, at some point there is no more room to take in. There's no more presence. So what he needs to do instead is he needs to pull himself away from you so he can digest the conversation or digest the weekend. However, if you spend this weekend with him, and you have pauses where you don't talk when you're resting in your security, you're resting in your silent confidence and he gets to feel himself in your presence. He will not need to pull back the whole time. Give it a try.
Now, if you want to learn more about this join our free Magnetize Your Man Dating support Facebook group, “MYMFBGroup.com.” It’s a lot of fun, join us. There are lots of juicy conversations going on about learning how to set boundaries, how to deal with your attachment style, how to have a successful first second, third date have him ask you out again.
3. Connect OVER Cope
What often happens when you go on dates and something comes up; a trigger comes up. Maybe there's something you didn't say or you felt insecure, embarrassed or even ashamed. Now, what do you do after that? You cope, that's right. You use a defence mechanism. You may just laugh it off, you may just numb out, you may just leave your body as you start to disassociate but what you don't do is connect.
Now if you don't connect, the man can't build trust towards you. So oftentimes when he pulls back, it could be because he's not quite sure, he hasn't developed this true trust towards you that he can communicate to you why he's pulling back or why he needs space or what he actually needs. However, if you will learn to connect, at that moment when you feel embarrassed, to instead be like, “Wow, that really hit me. That was preventable. Give me a moment for that one.” You allow him to feel your emotions. Or” wow, that didn't sit right with me. I don't know if I agree with that.”
You're connecting with him, you're connecting with your own emotions and you're not overriding them out of fear that you don't want to rock the boat or out of fear the other shoe is going to drop when you say something. He's going to be able to connect with himself in your presence and he is able to trust you, which leads to more transparent conversation, communication, and you will know when he needs space, and then you don't have to freak out.
4. Contact Your Intuition
I could have also said contact your wise woman. One thing I teach in my course is the six feminine archetypes. So what happens is oftentimes when the man pulls back, he is connecting with his wise man. It's also known as the magician. So he is connecting with his higher self, with God and he's taking time to himself.
Sometimes this can make you ask yourself how this is a good thing right now? Why would the man pull back right down? How's that a great thing for me? Sometimes it can be a reminder to connect with your spiritual self, with your wise woman. Maybe if you're Christian, you haven't read the Bible in a while, you haven't prayed in a while, you haven't gone to a church group to connect in a while. Of course, if you're not Christian maybe you haven't done any spiritual exercises in a while. You haven't fed yourself in a while.
So the men can also feel when you're not filled up, you're not really focusing on yourself, but instead, you're focusing on him and you’re depleting yourself. You become less attractive when you're depleting yourself. However, when you fill yourself up with new wisdom, reading a new book, asking yourself deeper questions, looking at your life purpose, where are you on that journey? When my man pulled back, not Brody but other men that I dated in the past, I realized, wow it's because he’s right. I haven't contacted my wise woman, my intuition, what I need to develop my spiritual growth and my spiritual muscle. I haven't done that in a while, so that’s actually very helpful and because I took the time to do that, the man came, of course, came running back.
5. When in Doubt Date
So if you are in doubt, wondering if he’s actually still interested in me? What to do when he pulls away? Is he dating other women? What's going on? Sometimes it can also be helpful to treat yourself like a queen and in that sense, actually date. Like put yourself out there, have different experiences. It can be really powerful to shake up your energy and to also get a little bit of your values back on track.
Now I commend that in general for those of you who have been following me for a while, you know this to be true but occasionally it can be really good for you to cause a little bit of a pattern interrupt and go on a date, experience a different personality, experience different energy, feel what it feels when someone is catering to you. And hello, who knows, maybe actually, you're going to meet the man of your dreams!
What To Do When He Pulls Away Conclusion
If you liked this article on what to do when he pulls away, and haven't taken my free Magnetize Your Man quiz, go ahead and click that button below!