Is he interested in you? Wondering how to get him addicted to you? In this guide, we will share 5 secrets that will help you get him excited about you.
1. Be Interested In His Hobbies
Now, you may have heard that you are supposed to be independent and have your own hobbies and have your own friends. But at the same time, it can also be extremely magnetic if you are interested in his hobbies and you want to learn about his world. For example, if he likes to golf and you know a thing or two about golf, sharing that with him, not pretending you like golf but being generally interested in it.
Now, a tip here is if golf actually bores the heck out of you, find something about golf that actually does fascinate you. Maybe, you have questions about his favorite stories that he has to share about golfing. Maybe the golf ball landed in a funny place, or maybe he had an incredible place where he golfed, but what it does, it will elicit this incredible enthusiasm from him. He will remember that he felt that enthusiasm in your presence and guess what? Enthusiasm is contagious, it is addictive and he will want more of that. So comment below, if that's hard for you, if that has happened to you, or if that's easy for you to do.
2. Be Feminine Yet Interdependent
What often happens is that women come off as extremely independent, at least when they come to me. And when I say, “Hi! just visualize yourself on a date.” What do you think the signals are that you’re sending? Usually, we get to the point where they say, “Well, the men are probably thinking, I don't really need them. I'm not really expressing all of my emotions, I may even laugh it off.” It's those modest, masculine angles, and unavailability that comes with independence.
What you want to do instead is learn how to be in your feminine, by being in your joy, being in your spontaneity, being with yourself and actually feeling what impact did it just have that Steve shared with me that he likes fishing, or what impact did it have on me that John just shared with me the education he went through and what his career goals are or whatever the case may be. But you're always connected to yourself.
That will actually give you more access to your own sensory input and nervous system. Additionally, it will also allow you to come from a much more interdependent place versus a codependent place or independent place, sending him the signal that you don't really need anyone. If you absorb what he shares and you integrate it into being with him then he feels seen, he feels respected and he feels trusted. You see men really want to know that you trust him, you trust his integrity as a man. And guess what? That will get him excited about you.
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3. Change His State
What I often tell my women is this: you want to give a man an experience so that he feels different after the date than he felt before, this is called a state change. Now, how in the world do you actually accomplish that? Well, what needs to happen is it has to have a surprising aspect. You can't be predictable.
So for example, I used to audit all these dating reality TV shows and one was called Dating Around (a really great one to watch!). There was this really great example because here was this couple and she just went through the motions. She just said, “Oh, where are you from?” “I'm from New York.” So, it just was predictable because everyone knows when you go on a date, where are you from? What do you love to do? Where did you go to school? Are obvious questions and that’s so boring.
You see, a man wants to experience a state change. There are so many men who continue to ask women out and they don't even know much about the woman, but what they do know is that they had a great time. If you're enticed, if you’re really excited, really feel her energy, even though they didn't necessarily talk a lot about logical things or what's on a checklist. Men certainly don't want to be interviewed. Here’s what I started to do when I did speed dating back in San Francisco when I was single. I had to do something different, we were all bored out of our minds going in the same round, having to say the same thing 12 times, I can't do that. So for example I’d say, “if you were an animal, what would you be and why?” See, this is so interesting and I had fantastic experiences with lots of incredibly deep and unexpected conversations. And of course, I got asked out over and over again.
When I lived in Bali, I told one of my friends who was an eight-figure business owner about this. He laughed at me. He was about to go on a date, and he said, “Antia you're out of your mind. she's going to think I'm nuts.” And I was like, “Well, try it because you have to be a little nuts. You have to be a little bit out of the ordinary to create a state change, to not be predictable and boring.” He said he wasn’t going to do that, however, the next day he came back and he told me that indeed, he actually tried it out because they got to a moment where there was silence and he said, “my friend is a dating coach and she had this crazy idea. She thinks we should ask ourselves these questions” and the woman ended up loving it. They had the best time ever. And I'm telling you, this really works.
So comment below, if this has ever happened to you, that someone surprised you. What impact did that leave on you? Or are you actually one of those people who want to be a little mischievous and do something different? Leave me a comment below, I love to read it.
4. Ask For His Advice or Help
This of course feeds into his protector mechanism inside of himself. He gets to be the hero, especially if you are already very successful, very accomplished yourself. He may very well know that you can figure it out yourself. However, it shows him again, and we're going back to the trust that you can be vulnerable.
So when I met my husband, I asked him a lot of questions. I asked him for advice on how to do something about a website and how to fix something, and so on. So, It was constantly like he was getting attention from us and because he was a man, you gotta figure it out. And so again, asking him for help. He feels and there's something so attractive and so playful about this, that it makes it extremely magnetic. And the men will want to ask you out again. On that note, take our free Magnetize Your Man Quiz, so you get more detailed dating strategies for yourself. You can simply click that button below or hop on over to mymquiz.com.
5. Be Happy
You know that song? ♪ Woo hoo. ♪ ♪ Don't worry. ♪ ♪ Be happy. ♪ And I'm not saying that you should fake it until you make it, if you're not happy, please, it's also about emotional availability and avoiding emotional unavailability. So definitely don't pretend you're happy when you're not happy because he's going to feel the incongruence. So, right when I met my husband, I was just happy and lucky. I was being my silly, goofy, spontaneous self and I was just carefree in a way and just happy with life. This has a lot to do with being happy with yourself. So, how can you be happier with yourself? How can you build yourself up before you go on a date?
Often what can help is of course playing really playful and fun songs sometimes even from your childhood. I know you may find that ridiculous, but why? The most unusual ways of dealing with things are usually the most effective. So, you can give that a try and also write down a gratitude list. Like what are you grateful for? And you will actually see why there's so much in your life to be grateful for, that gives you so much joy and happiness. Now, I'm curious. What do you think is the most attractive trait to a man? So comment below and what we are going to do is, we're going to randomly pick one of the comments and we will send you a free copy of our book, “Magnetize Your Man.”
For all of you who stayed until the very end, here’s our bonus secret – don't emasculate him in a fight. This is actually the moment where you can create the most trust, the most bonding, the biggest amount of rapport that you could ever imagine because you actually see each other in basically your worst light. Usually what happens is there's a lot of abuse of power that takes place and some men, indeed, are used to being masculine at that moment.
For example, a client shared with me yesterday that she went on a date with a guy who expected that she was going to freak out on him because he was 20 minutes late because that's what happened with his ex. This is so often true, but if you are the one who doesn't emasculate him, who still respects him, you can still express that you don't agree, of course, you can even be hot-tempered, but we're not going to go below the belt because you respect this man too much.
What’s also important is the feeling of “I want to actually protect this man's heart.” That's what I actually told my husband, that I'm willing to protect his heart. We as women have the power to protect his heart or to crush his heart. So if you are someone who is in the moment where you could take advantage of that power and you could totally crush him and you don't do that, wow girlfriend, this man will lick all his 10 fingers after you. And he will put you on a whole new level that you can't even imagine.
Get Him Addicted To You Conclusion
If you enjoyed this article, comment, and subscribe so you’re notified of new articles on how to make him desire you and obsess over you. Also, if you haven't seen it already, I'd highly recommend checking out our article on the five emotions that cause men to choose you by clicking here.