Struggling to figure out how to make him desire you? In this guide, we share 5 ways you can activate his deepest desires for you.

1. Celebrate Your Worst

Number five is he will celebrate your worst. Let's talk about what people usually don't talk about because he will love you at your worst. What do I mean by that? So we have judgements about ourselves. For example, you may fear that you are too much, too big, too bright, too emotional. However, this will be the exact reason why your man is falling in love with you. 

Don't believe me? When I met my husband Brody, he loved everything that men before were judging me for; you're too deep, you're too much, you're a handful, you're too complicated, all of that Brody really loved. He loved to see my anger, my passion, as well as my sadness and my “weak moments”. There is a saying that we admire perfect people, but we fall in love with imperfect ones. So comment below this article; what are some of the traits you are afraid of being judged for and actually looking forward to being celebrated? 

What happens is you want to make room for the shadow in your life because that will set the relationship free. Everyone is usually judging themselves in the relationship, and it's not showing up authentically. Now, that, of course, leads to loss of trust and decreases intimacy and closeness. This is also why so many relationships simply plateau. When he really loves you, and when you love him, you celebrate each other at your worst. 

How To Make Him Desire You

2. Chooses You

Now, this comes from Anthony de Mello, and he says that you can't love someone if you need them. You can only love someone if you genuinely choose them. So a man who really loves you really doesn't need you. He is fine without you, and he’s independent, he is grounded, he is successful, he's emotionally stable and centered in his integrity. However, he chooses you to be by his side because he knows that life can be magnified when you are in his life. 

This is also why he prioritizes you instead of a man who doesn't love you but may need you desperately. When a man loves you, it makes him happy, beams brighter, makes them a better man having you by his side, but he doesn't need you. 

Now, if you wonder how in the world am I attracting this man into my life, then join my free “Magnetize Your Man” Facebook group at and join my community of over five and a half thousand women worldwide and get all your questions answered. 

3. Surprise Himself

You see, so often, men say, “right now is not the right time because I don't want to have a long-distance relationship” or, “right now, it's not the right time because I just got out of a relationship and I'm still mourning.” However, when a man loves you, he will surprise himself. 

Now, I think a fabulous example of that is a guy who pursued me years ago. Interestingly, the whole journey started when I was 19 years old and I fell for this rather emotionally abusive, emotionally unavailable man. Fast forward a few years after I had already moved to the US and I was just visiting Germany, I had just taken a course on creating a trusting relationship with men. What I noticed is that I had never forgiven this particular guy. So my goal was, while I was spending two weeks in Germany, that I would sit down with him and just let him have it. Like really tell him how I really feel, how he made me feel. I was actually destroyed after he broke up with me. Long story short, this guy ended up falling in love with me. Not only that, but after I returned to the US, he had already booked his ticket to visit me in the US. Now, a side note here is that he hates the US, okay? For political reasons, who knows why? I never really asked him. The point was, he hated the US, so the thought of him coming to the US surprised him. 

So next time, when you hear an excuse from a man, think again, girlfriend, men will go above and beyond and surprise themselves when they are in love with you. Now, of course, I realized that he was not the one, but he was undoubtedly in love with me, and he would've done anything for me. So drop a comment below letting me know a particular example where a man did something that surprised himself when it came to you. I'd love to hear from you. 

How To Make Him Desire You

4. Call Himself Out

This is also something that people usually don't talk about – he will call himself out. He would put his dignity or his pride to the side in the name of the relationship. He wants to be as vulnerable as possible with you and create this emotional intimacy with you so wrong. So a few years ago, when Brody and I just moved in together, He called himself out. He said he felt that he had a running part inside himself, which is understandable because he had an anxious mother. This was powerful. It set our relationship free. I knew that he would be honest and he gave me space to metabolize that. 

He did that because he loved me, and he fully trusted me. That doesn't mean that I'm going to break up with him. It also coincided with what he already shared in our wedding vows – you can actually look those up here or on our YouTube as well. He actually said his worst fear is being trapped, and the beautiful thing about that was that we could actually implement our vows with this ring. I set you free. So when a man really loves you, he will literally call himself out. 

Now, if you're like, “Antia, I want to experience that relationship in my life, that level of transparency, that level of honesty, but I just don't even know how to get there.” I recommend taking my free “Magnetize Your Man” quiz at and getting the juicy custom gifts that I have prepared for you to help you attract that relationship into your life and heal your own trust issues that keep you from showing up authentically. 

5. He Stays When It Gets Hot

So often what I see when single women come to me is they're afraid to rock the boat because what they experience is, as soon as there's a disagreement, as soon as there's a confrontation or an opposition of opinions, the man checks out or flees. What happens is when a man really loves you, he stays because he's not going to leave you. He wants to solve the problem and make you happy. But, of course, that means keeping his own heart open, which he can only do when he really loves you. Which also means that he loves and trusts himself. 

Now, if you have a man who is actually running all the time, that's probably not the right man for you because it causes trust issues inside of your own nervous system, and again, feeds into your whole reason for not speaking up. This is why I can't express myself. This is why it can't be too much because he will, it will be just too much for him. He'll just be overwhelmed. However, when the man really loves you, which means he loves himself, he loves all of his archetypes, including the wild man. That means the wild man gives him resilience and resourcefulness to weather the storm. 

This means when his partner yells at him, is angry, he stays. My husband compared it to being on offense if defense stays, but it is there, and it's receiving everything that she has to say. That's what a man does when he really loves a woman. Then that helps with the feminine aspect inside of yourself because you feel seen, heard and felt, and of course, strengthens the masculine part for him because he gets to increase his capacity to hold more space for you. So I'd love to hear from you. Which of these actions have you actually seen in a man? Comment below as well. 

BONUS: Commits To You

For those who stayed until the very end, I have a bonus for you, which is when a man really loves you, he commits to you. I know what you want to say right now – this is common sense. But is it? How many times have you dated a man who confesses love to you, but for one reason or another keeps stalling? The relationship is just not moving forward, he just can't move in with you, he just can't commit to you, he just has to heal all his wounds, he has to wash his hamster’s hair. So it's all those excuses, girlfriend, he doesn't love you. 

If he really loves you, if he's in love with you, the way a man knows how to love, he can't help but commit to you. So it’s not just that I should commit to her. He is going to burn to commit to you. Don't believe me? That's what my husband did after dating me for about two and a half months. So we met at the end of June, I told him about the last week of August. So it was about two months that I was seeing other guys because he asked me who all those friends are that pick you up, and then he was like, “oh no, no, no, no. I am committed to you. I want to be with you. You're the only one for me.” So your man will actually claim you and commit to you when he really loves you.

How To Make Him Desire You Conclusion

So again, if you read this article, comment, and subscribe, and of course, share it with all of your girlfriends. If you haven't read the following article yet, I recommend reading; if he lost interest because you were needy, this will bring him back.

Antia & Brody Boyd
Antia & Brody Boyd

Husband and wife team Antia & Brody Boyd have been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over 20 years combine to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a high-quality man fast without loneliness, frustration or rejection. They've also been featured expert speakers at Google, the Harvard University Faculty Club, ABC Radio & Good Morning San Diego.

    2 replies to "How To Make Him Desire You | Dating Advice for Women With Antia & Brody"

    • Jan Mulan

      I’m in love with a man who’s separated from his wife but still legally married. They’ve been separated for 25 years & he’s torn & indecisive as to going through a divorce. He doesn’t want to hurt his in-laws but is in a loveless marriage. I’d like him to commit & make a decision. What’s your advice? We are seniors.

    • Jan Mulan

      Your advice & suggestion would be greatly appreciated

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