Ever wonder why men seem so guarded with their emotions? In this guide, we'll peel back the layers of mystery around male emotional complexity, leading you on a transformative journey that allows you to engage deeply with your man.

By understanding his internal wounds and providing him the emotional security he needs, you'll seamlessly foster the relationship of your dreams, all while sidestepping the common pitfalls that can create emotional distance.

We're Antia & Brody Boyd with Magnetize Your Man and after helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a man they want for over 20 years combined, here's what we've seen…


In delving into the first type of men you can encounter, we meet the ‘Avoidant.' An Avoidant may be perplexing initially; he might ghost you or maintain a conspicuous distance, both emotionally and physically. Often, this man will be an observer, comfortable watching alone, content in his solitude. For as disturbing as this can seem, remember, his aloofness has roots, and knowing this can help you understand him better.

Avoidant men have a deep-seated wound that stems from the feeling of not being safe in their bodies. This could be a result of a variety of trauma they experienced at a time when they were helpless, probably tiny, causing them to equate safety with disassociation. It is normal for them to quickly disengage, forget things, and appear absent-minded during interactions.

Physically, this man might be on the leaner side as him ‘leaving' his body translates to lower muscle mass. By understanding his wounds, you can approach communications differently to bring about harmony in your relationship. Having a physical image of the ‘Avoidant' man and understanding why he reacts the way he does allows you to navigate your relationship with empathy and care.


Next, we look at the ‘Connector.' A man of this type loves people and operates best in collaboration with others. But there's a flip side; he tends to be a little more on the anxious side and thrives on approval. This need to be accepted and liked arises because his needs weren't met as a small child, leading to his nervous system getting deregulated and anxious.

He didn't get consistent attention or his emotional needs weren't fulfilled. Perhaps he was a product of ‘sleep training,' where the dominating belief is in letting the baby cry it out. In such situations, the baby learns that his voice and needs don't matter. A connector likes physical affection and touch because that's what he missed out on.

Communicating with this man calls for understanding his needs for affection and responding accordingly but it also means that you may need to step up into a more masculine role at times. Note that, since men of this type can seem more on the softer, feminine side, it can lead to frustrations in your relationship when you have to bear a more substantial share of the masculine energy.


The ‘Passive' type is among the more intriguing kinds of men. He exists in a state of inertia due to fearing the repercussions of taking action. Imagine him as a young boy, brimming with ideas and enthusiasm, only to be met with criticism and shame whenever he attempted to bring these ideas to fruition.

These negative experiences taught him that initiating leads to discomfort, hence he withdraws into passivity. If you're in a relationship feeling as though you're the one constantly making the efforts while he seems perfectly capable yet unwilling, understanding his past can shine a light on this behavior.

Many passive men, interestingly enough, hold significant roles in their professional life, suggesting they possess the potential but choose to hide it to avoid accountability. They fear reprisal akin to their childhood experiences, thus prefer to say ‘no' than risk criticism. This type of man usually exudes a grounded energy, often described as solid and dependable, much like a wise, old tree.

They move and speak slowly, their energy unfolding gradually which can be both a source of comfort and frustration, especially when you wish for swift changes. Understanding his reluctant nature helps in navigating your relationship with greater empathy and patience.


Our fourth archetype is the ‘Leader.' The Leader usually stands out in a crowd. His charisma is undeniable, he possesses fire, passion, intensity, and a drive that is hard to resist. He's the life of a party, sometimes even veering towards the aggressive side. Physically, he usually has a strong, broad build because he tends to work out and takes care of his body.

He is probably the most masculine of the five types since he manifests robust masculine traits. This leader, however, may operate from a place of defense and resistance, possibly indicating an unhealed wound. He has learned to prioritize power over love, likely stemming from a childhood where he felt the need to overpower his parents.

He learnt early there was no one who could dominate him; it was him against the world. Such men often harbor feelings of betrayal, perhaps by their parents, and are always ready to defend themselves, sometimes striking first. While his fiery nature can be attractive due to the polarity it brings, it might also feel like playing with fire. Understanding this man calls for patience and discernment.


The fifth type, the ‘Perfectionist,' thrives on following rules and regulations. They perceive life in stark terms of black and white. They tend to be very critical and judgmental, not only of others but also of themselves.

They adhere to rigid patterns, like a soldier, and their energy is often cold. Their thought patterns are usually quite heavy and mental. These perfectionists are highly intelligent, keen on figuring things out, and extremely knowledgeable – whether it's the PHDs of the world or anyone else who aspires towards a certain level of perfection.

Yet, there's a root cause for this behavior pattern – growing up too fast, often due to cultural influences where achievement and mental discipline were celebrated over emotional intelligence and attunement. This is particularly true for individuals coming from cultures where high academic or intellectual achievement is touted above emotional wellbeing.

As such, asking such a man to ‘get into your body' might bewilder him; he'd rather cling to perceived authority, often external to himself. A perfectionist can therefore come off as very proper, commanding, and might always need to be right or to have the last word in a discussion. Understanding this pattern will help you navigate your relationship with empathy, acceptance, and patience.

Final Thoughts

To conclude, understanding his wounds is an enlightening doorway to his heart. It allows you to comprehend his actions, words, and even the lack thereof. By shedding light on these patterns, you trigger feelings of safety and security in your relationship, leading to a deeper connection and mutual cherishment.

Remember, all men carry different wounds, but recognizing them facilitates harmonious communication and understanding. Whether he's avoidant, a connector, passive, a leader, or a perfectionist, this knowledge equips you to approach your relationship from a place of empathy and understanding.

Use this insight to foster a committed, close-knit, long-lasting relationship. Keep exploring, keep communicating, and you'll find the two of you can weather any conflict, supporting each other emotionally, without both of you being triggered at the same time. Looking ahead, continue to nurture, understand, and support each other. Much love!

Next, if you haven’t yet make sure to take our FREE Love Quiz and virtual coaching session to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a high-quality man fast HERE

Antia & Brody Boyd
Antia & Brody Boyd

Husband and wife team Antia & Brody Boyd have been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over 20 years combine to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a high-quality man fast without loneliness, frustration or rejection. They've also been featured expert speakers at Google, the Harvard University Faculty Club, ABC Radio & Good Morning San Diego.

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