Ever find yourself falling for potential rather than the reality? We're going to reveal crucial mistakes often made in relationships, providing you with the wisdom and tools to craft your love life exactly as you wish.

Now, you can navigate romance with confidence and clarity, while sidestepping heartbreak and disappointment.

We're Antia & Brody Boyd with Magnetize Your Man and after helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a man they want for over 20 years combined, here's what we've seen…

Falling in Love With a Man's Potential

Let's start by addressing a common and easily overlooked pitfall – falling in love with a man's potential. I've definitely been there, and I know others have too. Anxious individuals tend to do this because they're inherently future-oriented. They live in ‘anticipation land' and often fail to see what's right in front of them.

What they see is the potential of what a man could be under different circumstances. “Oh, once he's less stressed, he'll be patient and compassionate,” or “This guy could be an amazing partner if only he could overcome his fear of opening his heart.” But guess what? These anticipated changes rarely happen.

As a result, many women end up in a kind of relationship purgatory, waiting for the man to actualize the potential they see in him. The truth is, you can't fall in love with potential. Instead, learn to love the man for who he currently is.

If you don't like the way he is now, perhaps it would be best not to date him. There are corroborating signs of potential change, but we must be wary not to overestimate them. After all, it's the reality of the now that you're dealing with, not the possibilities of the future.

Believing That Things Have to Be Challenging to Evolve

Let's move on to the second pitfall – Buying into the belief that things have to be challenging to evolve. Iron does sharpen iron, but believing that your relationship must be constantly challenging to evolve can lead you to choose men who aren't right for you and won't make you feel cherished, safe, and secure.

I had my own reckoning with this belief back in 2013, shortly before I met my husband. My mindset had been centered around the idea that I had to face challenges to become the person I needed to be. I convinced myself that I was attracting emotionally unavailable men because I needed to learn patience, compassion, and a greater connection to my spirituality.

However, the truth is that this belief was deeply rooted in a sense of unworthiness. It is a belief that could keep you stuck for years, even decades if you let it. However, in 2013, I disavowed this belief and started to embrace the idea that things could be easy. This shift allowed me to realize that relationships, even the ones that feel easy and organic, can last and form the basis for a deep, connected, and long-term relationship.

This mindset shift was the distinction that made me breakthrough the belief that relationships have to be hard. So remember, it's perfectly okay (and healthy) to break the belief that relationships have to be challenging to evolve.

Being Intrigued by Men Who Trigger You

Diving into our third pitfall – Being intrigued by men who trigger you. It's a common trap to fall instantly in love, where butterflies are rampant and sparks fly, indicating a potential for emotional triggering rather than a stable, secure foundation. This fascination often leads to intense disappointment, insecurity, and heartbreak, which can be draining and exhausting. It encourages a misconception that without such intensity, the relationship lacks romance or depth.

However, when I met my husband, our connection was strong but not fraught with overwhelming butterflies or sparks. It was more akin to a serene lake, allowing clear visibility into our deepest fears, desires, and cores, fostering a genuine intimacy unlike any other. This approach to love, gradual and deep, promises safety and excitement but without the exhausting drama.

It redefines what it means to be genuinely attracted to someone, emphasizing emotional health and stability over fleeting emotional highs.

Staying Too Long Because You Think You Can Handle It

The fourth pitfall is – Staying too long because you think you can handle it. This is a common trap you might fall into if you find yourself entangled with an emotionally unavailable man, a narcissist, or an addict.

You might genuinely believe you can handle the emotional ups and downs associated with being with such a person, due in part to past experiences or a tendency to naturally take on a caregiving role. However, this dysfunctional dynamic not only robs you of a healthy, balanced relationship but also can lead to building resentment within you.

You may relentlessly accept and excuse your partner's behavior, citing reasons related to their past, their struggles, or childhood, inadvertently lowering the bar for the level of respect and treatment you deserve.

It is essential to remember that you do not need to handle everything, and it is not your responsibility to solve your partner's issues. Stand firm on holding your partner accountable for their actions and avoid tolerating behavior that does not meet your relationship standards.

Believing He Will Change

The fifth and final pitfall is – Believing he will change. It's an old but recurring misconception that can sabotage your relationships. Just as the old joke goes – a man marries a woman hoping she will not change, and a woman marries a man hoping he will change, and we know how these stories usually end.

Based on my experience and observation, a person is less likely to change fundamental aspects of their habits, personality, or nature. Sometimes, you might find yourself hoping he will stop some behavior or start concentrating more on you instead of solely on himself. This sets up a mindset that perpetually waits for a future where he changes his ways, which can possibly lead to disappointment.

So, when you step into a relationship, accept your partner the way they are, right then and there. Don't paint red flags green. Don't gloss over aspects of his behavior or traits you find unfavorable, hoping they will change in the future.

Instead, be real and be in the moment during your interactions and assess realistically if your partner is aligned with your standards and principles. Take note not to fall for your constructed idea of him but who he genuinely is.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, navigating through the complex world of dating and relationships requires a clear understanding of oneself and one's expectations. Remember, there's nothing about a relationship you have to earn, and it's not your responsibility to rescue someone, fix their issues, or wait for them to change.

The key to an ideal relationship lies in mutual growth, acceptance, and respect, without having to put your partner on a pedestal. Be aware when you're dating, ask yourself what you might be glossing over, and refrain from painting red flags green. Yes, soulmates are real, but a relationship is even more real when it's based on present reality and not future potentialities.

Love and relationships should be a balance between the hearts and minds, not a constant uphill battle. Prevention is better than cure, so avoid these relationship pitfalls, and stay focused on what really matters – creating a deep, connected, and long-lasting relationship.

Next, if you haven’t yet make sure to take our FREE Love Quiz and virtual coaching session to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a high-quality man fast HERE

Antia & Brody Boyd
Antia & Brody Boyd

Husband and wife team Antia & Brody Boyd have been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over 20 years combine to get a loving, long-term & committed relationship with a high-quality man fast without loneliness, frustration or rejection. They've also been featured expert speakers at Google, the Harvard University Faculty Club, ABC Radio & Good Morning San Diego.

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