Are you struggling dating with confidence? Don't worry you are not alone, there are many people who are in the same boat as you.
In this post, we will share six ways you can boost your dating confidence and land more dates.
1. Future Pace
What do I mean by that? Successful athletes do this all the time, they visualize themselves in the future, doing what they do best, performing well, and you can do that too. Now, if you're honest with yourself, what do you usually visualize before you go out? Well, you're probably visualizing, “Hopefully the date is going to go well and I'm going to say the right thing,” or “hopefully he likes me.” But what you want to do instead, is how exactly do you want the date to go? Visualize him smiling at you, holding the door open for you, you having an incredible conversation, him being intellectually stimulating, getting a hug at the end of the night, and maybe him asking you out again. You can really visualize all that for yourself.
Now, another way you can use the future pace exercise; and you can use them in other areas of your life too, is visualizing how you catch yourself. So you say, “you know what Antia, I can't get completely to the point of having an incredible experience, and him complimenting me, and him asking me out again because usually, I will sabotage it.” Maybe you always forget to focus on yourself, you talk too much, you don't interrupt when you should. Beautiful, then visualize that, visualize yourself acting like you usually do and sabotaging the date in whatever ways you normally do, but then, visualize yourself coming back to yourself, and grounding yourself. You can also visualize yourself lovingly interrupting him, and saying, “Hi! this is so interesting, can we just take a moment to digest that?” So try it out and let me know how it goes.
2. Stay In Your Body
So, this kind of goes back to what I just said. Often what we do when we go on a date, is we want to impress the other person more often than not and so to accomplish that, we focus on the other person. We almost go into their bodies and wonder, “how do I look from their perspective,” or “are they having a good time?” So, what you want to do is instead just visualize yourself coming back to or staying in your body. Picture this wave of energy coming back to you, the attention coming back to you, staying in your body.
Breathing is also incredibly powerful. Let's say the man talks a lot and all you can do at that moment is breathe, and girlfriend, let me tell you what ends up happening is you get the attention because the attention goes where energy flows and energy flows where life flows. The breath is life, so try that out and let me know how that goes for you. I do that all the time in my coaching, in my conversations, and of course, before I met my incredible husband Brody as well. Now, if you want to learn much more about that and go deeper into it. Maybe see what's holding you back from really attracting that right partner for you, I invite you to take my Magnetize Your Man Masterclass To Find Your Match. So go to MYMClass.com.
3. You Are A Catch
With this, a couple of things are really helpful but for both, you are going to want to have a list handy of why you are a catch. Now, if it's really hard for you to create a list of why you are a catch, call your best girlfriends, ask your family, why are you a catch and write all those attributes and qualities down. You preferably want to write these things down on your phone because then you can just take it with you while you're in the club or right before you walk into the restaurant you can take one last look at that list, why are you a catch? Why is that so important? Because the brain deletes distorts and generalizes this reality. So if you don't believe that you are a catch, or that you're worthy, or your dates normally don't go well, then that's what the brain is going to continue to create. So something as simple as reading your list can be really empowering.
Now, another fun thing you can also do is record your list. So if you're in your car and you're I don't want to read, well then record it! Why are you a catch? Listen back to that, or maybe have some of your friends record something for you. Maybe it's more powerful for you to hear it from other people. So try that one out, I can't wait to hear your feedback on that.
4. Courage To The Gap
I talk a lot about how there's often a very anxious part inside of you. Now the anxious part inside of you does not want to be within the gap, it hates the unknown and uncertainty. So what you want to do is you want to do whatever you can to fall in love with uncertainty. A simple way to do that is to think about, what's your favorite comedy show or a reality TV show? Then be okay with the break, be okay with not knowing how it continues, when the cliffhanger comes, when that commercial break comes, and you want to know who gets the roast at the end of the day? How does this continue? Is he going to cheat on her or not? And so on, practicing breathing in the unknown, not knowing, maybe you won't even know until next week until you of course read it up online. So do me a favor, don't read it up online, practice the gap.
Also what I want you to start practicing, and you can do this with your friends, is just pausing and being like “oh, Mary, what did you just say? Wow, that makes me uncomfortable too.” Just slow down and be in the gap. What that does is helps the brain to pace itself so you will feel more comfortable. Then also try doing that with a man, trust me, try it out. Now, if you want to have more support in that, maybe find women to role play with, maybe share your own dating stories and get feedback on that. Then join my free magnetizing mandating support group, go to MYMFBGroup.com, and we are super excited. We are a community of over 4,000 single successful women from all over the world, so join the party.
5. “It's Just The Usual”
This is an amazing tip that I learned from my husband – take your date off the pedestal. Instead, normalize the date and make it seem like “it’s just the usual.” How would you behave? It's just usual, I'm just going on another date, It's not a big deal. And for me, what started happening is when I started dating my husband, I remember I started dating him and I said, ” normally men don't make it past three weeks.” That would be incredible for me, usually, I would sabotage it ahead of time. And then I’d say, “Well, the men who make it past three weeks they're not going to make it past three months.” Okay, sure enough, three months came around, started acting a little funny and so on.
What I started to see was that my parents got divorced when I was 11 years old, they were fighting their whole married life and they should have probably gotten divorced even earlier. My husband's parents, on the other hand, are still together, so it's just a usual “couple that prays together stays together,” so they may argue but they don’t just leave. But what I had seen was the opposite, people leave if something gets too uncomfortable, and it's a lot of passive aggression, and a lot of control and so on.
So, he said, “it's just the usual that you have an incredible relationship. It's just usual, then we have an incredible wedding. It's just the usual that we have an incredible business,” so try that out and just say, “It's just the usual.” Just look at yourself in the mirror, maybe even in your car right before you walk in. “It's just the usual, just another day in paradise.” Okay, so if you want to have more support to understand where you get stuck in all of that dating journey, then get your free and custom gift by clicking the button below and let's see what results you get, and maybe we can have a conversation after that.
6. Phone Reminder
What that means is when you go into your phone and you go into your clock, you can set your alarms and the alarms don't have to be loud and you can also label your alarms. So, you can write down “confident” or “queen” or “grounded” whatever you want to remind yourself of, to stay grounded, to stay in your body, to maintain dating confidence, to stay with yourself, set yourself little reminders. Then what you can do is, you can set a little vibration and that’s very unassuming. When that vibration goes off that may even be a good way to excuse yourself on a date and go to the powder room to ground myself and come back to myself, boosting your dating confidence.
Dating With Confidence Conclusion
All right, ladies, I'd love to hear from you, what do you do to give your dating confidence a boost? Leave it in the comments below.