Discover what IS a high value woman and the 5 things they NEVER do! Knowing how to be a high value woman can sometimes be confusing, and knowing what the main habits are of a high value woman can help you to AVOID the opposite. Being a high value woman is not overly complex, in fact it can be very simple once you understand the key high-value woman traits! Enjoy. 😊
1. Cancel Other Appointments To See Him
Now, the problem is that this can very quickly become a slippery slope. We all know this feeling, you meet a man, you’re attracted to him but then he says, “Hey, are you available Thursday night?” and Thursday night is when you have your yoga class or cocktail hour with your girlfriends. What a lot of women do is cancel those appointments to go out with that guy. Especially if you’re more of an anxious attachment style or fearful-avoidant attachment style.
The reason why you never want to do that, and why high-value women never do that is because they stay true to themselves. The reason why the man is attracted to you is because of what you’re doing right now, the life that you have going on for yourself. This means the routines that you have, your friends, the environment that you’ve created for yourself, all that has made you a magnet to this guy. Now what happens is, if you stop doing this routine now and leave your environment, you also become less magnetic to the guy. This happens all the time, women leaving their whole life behind, even ending friendships so that they see the guy. Never do that.
2. Waiting Until He Confirms The Date
Here’s an example: If a guy asked them to dinner Friday night, and they agreed but the guy didn’t confirm the date by Thursday night, they’re not going to wait around. What do I mean? They’re not going to waste their life and cancel other events that they could have gone to. Like if you confirm, then you know that’s what happens. If he doesn’t confirm, well, you snooze, you lose.
A lot of women that come to me are doing the opposite. They’re messaging me on Friday afternoon and saying, “Hey, you know so I was supposed to have a date tonight but it’s the afternoon and he still hasn’t messaged me. Should I message him?” No, no, don’t do that. You already have plans. What I mean is the guy chose to not confirm with you – maybe he changed his mind, he’s wishy-washy, or his actions don’t match his words whatever the case may be, don’t be available for that.
3. Laughing When It’s Not Funny
Now what often happens when you go on a date is you want to create rapport with the man. You want to be liked and you want to feel connected but what often happens is you find yourself not being genuine. For example, if he says something that makes you uncomfortable or sad but laughs afterwards, you end up laughing along with him despite those feelings you were having. You’re betraying yourself and that’s going to show. And you risk the man not going to trust you anymore. He expects you to hand him an emotional resume.
So, when he laughs and you don’t find it funny you let him just feel that he laughed and you’re not laughing. Let him actually feel it in his body and then he’s going to be more aware of how you felt. Like, “I felt there was some sadness there, some discomfort.” And hopefully, he’ll want to talk about that or connect with that authentic transparent connection. Instead of that superficial, fake connection where we’re just laughing because everybody else laughs.
Do you know that so many people laugh because they feel shame? Brene Brown talks a lot about that. What happens when you explain something, and the other person feels shame and ends up laughing about it, is they’re feeling uncomfortable. But that’s their discomfort, let them feel it, you don’t need to support them in that, be true to yourself. Doing this allows you to become highly charismatic and fascinating to the other person because you stay true to yourself. You’re aligned inside of yourself. So give that, give that a try.
4. Changing Yourself For Him
If you’re on a date and he says “I love when you wear dresses” if you’re not someone that wears dresses, then it’s good that you don’t change that for him. Be true to yourself. Like, don’t pretend that you’re all of a sudden interested in what he is interested in if you’re not. Men feel that and they’re too appreciative of polarity. They appreciate when you have your own interests and don’t change yourself to like what he does. You’re so attractive when you are in your own zone. When you are in your element, you know, that’s what my husband always says is that the most attractive women are the ones who are just minding their own business and they’re in their own nature. That’s so magnetic to men.
5. Putting Being LIKED Over Being RESPECTED
High-value women aren’t people pleasers. She doesn’t care if you like her or not because she likes herself. She does not depend on outside approval. So as an example, it’s not dating-related, but back when I applied for UC Berkeley, everybody said “oh, you’re never going to get in.” but I said, “you know what? I didn’t ask you for your approval. I already gave myself approval. I already know I’m going. I just wanted your support. So if you don’t give me your support I’m just going to get it from somewhere else.” So the same is true for the high-value woman when it comes to dating, she doesn’t need approval.
What’s important for her is that she receives respect because she respects herself and you better respect her. She is truthful to herself, she is a queen, she has all the archetypes nicely balanced inside of herself and she has an open heart and she is approachable but she also has boundaries. So with this one, it’s don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.
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