If he won't commit to a relationship with you it's important to know why. They are reluctant to simply clarify that they like you, or they feel an undeniable magnetic attraction and want to spend as much time with you as possible.
This article will go into detail on why he won't commit and provide five things a man needs to commit to a relationship, so that the next time your man is acting weirdly around you (or not acting at all), you can be on the safe side that there are really no ulterior motives going on.
1. He Is Afraid To Lose You
Girlfriend, if he takes you for granted and thinks he has you wrapped around his little finger, he's not going to value or respect you – it's that simple. As a result, he's not going to prioritize you. However, if you are busy, if you know what your values are and if you have a full schedule he’ll start to feel like he needs to prioritize you or he may lose you. Now, I can’t stress this enough, don't fill up your schedule so he prioritizes you. Fill up your schedule because you're prioritizing yourself. This is important because if you just do something to get him to do something, it's not going to work. You have to understand the psychology behind it.
When I was dating this guy in 2010, and he invited me to go on a sailing trip with him on a Sunday afternoon (some of you, you have heard this story before) I realized that for him to prioritize me, I needed to also prioritize myself, and I need to learn how to make myself happy without him. That was really important, so I turned him down on a Sunday afternoon where every woman would have thrown themselves at this opportunity, however, what it led to was him prioritizing me, him calling me, him texting me, him asking me out on dates. He continued dating me for quite a while and yes, in the end, it didn't work out, but not because he didn't prioritize me because we had simply totally different goals. So try that out.
2. He Sees You As High Value
Question; are you investing in yourself? Are you taking your time to do your hair in the morning? Are you taking time to take care of yourself? To get a massage, acupuncture, a facial? Are you getting support? Either, coaching support or a mentor, whichever area is needed for you? Are you investing in yourself, energetically? Meaning, are you taking your time? When you are on a date, do you start to take a deep breath and become present and aware of yourself? High-value women are doing that.
That's why they go and powder their nose in the bathroom. Not necessarily because they really need to powder their nose in a bathroom, but because they come back into their energy, they don't get caught up in the other person. Now, when I say energy, what I mean by that, is when someone tells a story, for example, you have two choices; you can either stay with yourself and listen, but remain grounded and aligned within yourself, or you leave your body and get caught up in the man’s story and feelings. That's what's really important, realizing and staying with yourself, being aware of yourself. Do you feel your feet rooted on the ground? Do you feel your butt on the chair? Do you feel yourself breathing? Do you feel your heart beating? Are you aware of yourself? If you do, he will see you as a high-value woman, because you are investing in yourself, which means you're increasing your value.
Now, if you have challenges with that, I recommend taking my FREE Quiz to attract the right man for you, just click the button below where you’ll also get more specialized dating strategies and tips as well.
3. You Communicate Into His Value System
So, here's what's interesting, and I learned this concept from Dr. John Demartini. He's a philosopher, a mentor and a coach and he talks about this concept of communicating into someone's value system. If you try to teach a 15-year-old math and they don’t want to learn math, the reason why they don’t want to do math, is because they don’t see how math is actually positively influencing their life. However, if you communicate into their value system and for example, they like shoes so you can be like, “Hey, if you know math you know how many shoes you can buy,” you’re communicating into their value system. You really understand what their values are and how I can connect what I want to do at the moment with that value system.
So, same with men, if you communicate into his value system, maybe he’s like my husband and he’s a big foodie, he loves food. Whatever that is for him, right, you communicate through that love language to him. This takes some awareness from your side, because it's not about you communicating to him your love language, it's about learning about his love language. That also can lead to him seeing you as a priority. Why? It’s because he feels good around you and that's something we're all moving towards, the things that make us feel good.
4. Let Go Of Attachment
If you are in the anxious attachment style camp, he can feel it, he will not prioritize you because he knows you have already put him on a pedestal. So what needs to happen is, you need to do a releasing exercise. You need to visualize him becoming smaller and smaller, because when you visualize him becoming smaller and smaller and floating away from you, in a box or a balloon or whatever you want to visualize, what happens is, your brain starts to disassociate and see things more abstract and the attachment starts to loosen. I'm not saying that you let him go, I'm not saying it's over. What I'm saying is to let go of the attachment. I can feel it too. When someone is attached to me, when somebody wants me to do something, I can feel it, it's so weird, it's like this pressure or string around you.
The only way you can release the attachment is by making your attachment right. If you release your attachment from a place of resistance, it's not going to work because then you become even more anxious afterwards, because that part inside of you, is like “No, no, no, no, you don't understand, I need to be attached right now to feel safe.” Which by the way, it's not true at all, if anything, it actually flares up the nervous system response, even more, especially the hypertonic nervous system response versus the hypotonic ones, right. So that's important to know as well. It's letting go of attachment.
It's so interesting, men always feel like they could lose you if you let go. Why are they not attached to me? Oh, she's not where she used to be. Where is she? Is she dating someone else? So you always want to create a little bit of intrigue. If you haven't joined my free Magnetize Your Man, dating support Facebook group click the link below to get more of these questions answered for you.
5. Minimize Texting
Okay, I could say so much about this, I am such an anti-texting person, we should all say we want to use texting as an appointment setting device only. Say that after me, I use my phone as an appointment setting device. Now, why do you do that? Think of it this way, why would he prioritize you? He can just send you a text, even just a smiley face and he’s getting away with the path of least resistance. Then he stays in the illusion that he's actually connected to you, which in reality, he's not.
However, if you minimize texting you encourage him to call you, to reach out to you, to show up at your doorstep. I just talked with a client about this, this guy was texting her and she didn't text him back, and then he called her. Okay, so that's how it works. You unconsciously send men a resume, an emotional resume, you set an emotional atmosphere. I say this over and over, this is how they’re going to treat you. So if you say, I'm not fully a texter and you mean it, so you're just texting him short answers like, “Yeah, the day was good,” and don't ask them questions back because then you just start this whole conversation, that invites him to reach out to you in other ways, to prioritize you.
Often when women come to me, I see paragraphs of text conversations, talking about how their day was, talking about how their weekend was. Why in the world would he need to hang with you? He doesn’t need to because he already has all the answers, it feels like he’s already met up with you. So, minimize texting.
Why He Won't Commit Conclusion
So ladies, if you liked this article, again, I invite you to click the button below. Take your free quiz there, and also, my free training is on there, as well – how to attract emotionally available and high-quality men into your life.